LEGO Message Boards Wiki:Chat/Logs/28 January 2014

 [11:55]  Can you help me with this poem for English [11:55]  Give me feedback and stuff [11:55]  Sure [11:55]  Can I just post it in main chat? [11:56]  OOo [11:56]  I'll read it [11:56]  :p [11:56]  Okay [11:56]  Waves crash down in the sea all around [11:56]  Try to yell out for help but you can't make a sound [11:56]  Try to get out but the waves won't let go [11:56]  The people on shore think you're waving "hello" [11:56]  [11:56]  Water gets in your mouth and your nose [11:56]  It pulls on your hair and skin and your clothes [11:56] <Caysie98> Try to get out but the waves won't let go [11:56] <Caysie98> The people on shore think you're waving "hello" [11:56] <Caysie98> [11:56] <Caysie98> Sometimes the waves trick you and seem to calm down [11:56] <Caysie98> But then they come back and you again start to drown [11:56] <Caysie98> Try to get out but the waves won't let go [11:56] <Caysie98> The people on shore think you're waving "hello" [11:57] <Obi the LEGO Fan> Eerie :P [11:57] <Caysie98> Yeah I guess :P [11:57] <Skull5657> Very. [11:57] <Skull5657> :p [11:58] <Skull5657> I did notice a slight veration [11:58] <Skull5657> veriation* [11:58] <Caysie98> I'm working on the next stanza [11:58] <Caysie98> What? [11:58] <Caysie98> Oh wait [11:58] <Ireithien> I think it's about people who are kinda stupid and keep thinking that the person is saying hello. :P [11:58] <Skull5657> Water gets in your mouth and your nose.. it just.. IDK... is it a little off? [11:58] <Skull5657> :p [11:58] <Skull5657> Ire. :P [11:58] <Caysie98> The second line is supposed to start with "want" not "try" [11:58] <Ireithien> When clearly the person is freakin drowning and they need a lifeguard or something. :P [11:58] <Obi the LEGO Fan> Water gets in your mouth and your nose It pulls on your hair and skin and your clothes &lt;- Their should be a your on skin, or no your on clothes [11:59] <Obi the LEGO Fan> *there [11:59] <Caysie98> Oh right I forgot that :P [11:59] <Skull5657> :p [12:00] <Ireithien> Or is it deeper? Is it about Caysie's personal feeling of drowning, being swallowed by the woes of this world while onlooking bystanders gawk at nothing? (sie) [12:00] <Ireithien> :P [12:00] <Skull5657> :p [12:00] <Caysie98> You float further and further away from the shore [12:00] <Caysie98> People on the beach can’t see you any more [12:00] <Caysie98> You just barely keep your head above and free [12:00] <Caysie98> Struggling alone in the waves of your sea