User blog:LondonDauntlessCorvair963/CoD in a Nutshell: A Story

So today I decided to fire up Black Ops II just for fun. What could go wrong? Just a few quick games and then I'll do something else.

Game loads up. OK, go to multiplayer... Online match... Hm, lemme see what my classes are. *Checks classes* OK, seems good to me. Hold on, I wanna make a new emblem that is awesome.


 * 5 minutes later*


 * Result is an awesome Italian flag with a Beretta 93R over it and the phrase "93R." under it because the 93R is a beast gun irl*

Sounds good. Let's jump into a lobby.

Luckily Black Ops II, for a three year old game, is still pretty popular, and it takes barely 5 seconds to connect to an open lobby. I got nothing to do while waiting, so I guess I'll take a look at other peoples' emblems. Hm, a sniper shooting a skull, nice... Black Ops III logo, pretty cool also... Oh, and a picture of a... Marijuana leaf... OK, maybe the next one will have a little more taste.

OK, a woman bending over. That's nice. That's enough of the community for now. I just wanna level up my guns plz.

Then the game starts on the map Raid. I choose my SCAR-H class and go to the room at the end of the map near my spawn because luckily I'm on the Mercs team. The SCAR-H has a decent range and I am able to pick off a sniper way across the walkway on the other side of the map near his spawn. His player card pops up at the bottom and it's a guy that just joined.

His emblem is a sniper with the words "MLG" and "3L1T3"... Dear God, I hope it's just a parody. Please. Please be a parody.

Our team ends up winning the game 75-62. I have 13 kills and 4 deaths. I don't think that's very bad for my first CoD game in a couple months.

I hear some screaming on the mic (Which is, mind you, at least three feet away from where I'm sitting.), so I decide to pick it up to see what was wrong.

It was this kid who said our team was hacking because we won even though he had almost a 3.0 K/D ratio in that game. The rest of his team sucked more than anyone else could have sucked.

Lucky for me, there were some good samaritians who decided to volunteer to talk some sense into this kid, and that it's pretty unlikely for a sniper to carry his whole sucking team.

The kid didn't want to hear it, needless to say, and left the match. Good riddance. Oh, the next match is starting. I think I'll use the R870 now. Standoff is a good shotgun map, but it's also good for snipers, so I decide to go around all the buildings on my side of the spawn (Closest to the tank if you play Black Ops II) and go into the house that people like to take because it's at the center of the map.

There was only one person on the bottom floor who was focusing on the door closest to my spawn, so I one shot him in the back no problem.

There's always some guy in the corner of the top floor with a riot shield or machine gun or something so I was gonna have to take him by surprise. Of course I was right, and he was lagging so much that even with his QBB machine gun, which is a high fire rate and high damage machine gun, he couldn't kill me. I didn't even have to jump or drop shot or anything, and just shot him in the face.

Another rage kid on the mic. He started blaming ME for his dodgy connection. I just ignore him and keep playing.

I'd say I did average with 11 kills and 5 deaths, and we ended up losing the match. I did, however, unlock extended "clip" (*Magazine) for the Remington, so that was nice, because it bugs when I have to spend a long time reloading after clearing a whole room of people because I had two or fewer shells left.

Back in the lobby menu, I mean to press down on the D pad to go to my classes and equip my new attachment, but I accidentally ended up pressing right on the D pad and ended up on the list of people's emblems.

Another woman bending over.

I'm done with CoD for a while.