User:Loney 97



''At the present I am only semi-to-inactive on here; feel free to leave a message on my wall if you need me, but expect to wait a couple days for my response. If the matter is more urgent, email me at hershel.loney@gmail.com, and I'll get back to you post-haste.''

The Beginning Hello there and welcome to my slightly random, slightly illegible userpage. Be forewarned that you may encounter great swathes of weird trivia, strange statements and a whole lot of hipster cats and Danbo (once I actually get around to adding them in.) Did you know that "cellar door" is considered one of the most euphonic phrases in the English language in terms of sound combination? You do now.

 loney [lon·ey] (verb)

(low-nee):

1. To disgrace a football field/ mock the game of football as a legitimate sport.

2. To embarrass the human race as an intelligent species.

3. To be the ABSOLUTE worst at something, no questions asked.

[eg. Do me a favor; please don't loney this one.]

I'm Loney, which is a axiomatic fact I am sure you did not already know but regardless, now that you've read it again I'm sure it will stick in your retentive mind much better. The 97 doesn't mean much, but if you strained your brain a bit you could probably figure out where I came up with that number; and no, it has nothing to do with the 25th prime number or the percentage of earth's salt water that is located in our oceans. So, my name is Loney, my friends call me Loney, Forever Alone, Sailor, Loners, Oney and assorted other nicknames, my enemies don't call me anything because I don't have any enemies (Save this guy,  that guy, and especially  this air-headed cretin) and I call myself Whatever. I. Want.

The Muddle This, dear readers, is the muddle. And no, it's not called a muddle because I just threw everything in here, or because today is Tuesday (although I did rather just throw everything in here, and today is Tuesday). This is the muddle because every good piece of writing has a Beginning, a Muddle, and a End, and why should my fustian little userpage do any less?

I am not much more than a typical resident of this place, although really, could any one of the members here ever be considered typical? Probably not. I'm a bit droll compared to some of their tennis-TF2-MLP-saturated apparatuses; at times it feels like my knowledge and superior mentality stick out around here like a screen door on a submarine, but, regardless of my manifest superincumbent cognizance you're still here, reading this page, so obviously you still care to find out what idiotic rampages take place in my mind.

Despite my unremarkable competence I have developed more then a few close relationships with various members and persons of this dear diminutive community, and because of my beloved ties to these astute individuals I have taken the liberty of listing the names of these companions, comrades, cohorts, colleagues, confederates and collaborators of mine in alphabetical order below, each with a small biographical account of their distinct livelihood.

Aravis Aravis is the oldest of my two beautiful daughters. Adopted along with her younger sister by me and my older brother Talmid, who took the place of an uncle in the two girls' lives, she now resides in Kanadia. Along with many other things, she likes butterflies, the colour purple, and MLP (who doesn't)?

Arya Arya is the younger of my two amazing daughters, and although we don't have all that much in common we share a special father-daughter relationship that I love :3 She likes anime, music... and I'll still have to add more about her later.



A drawing I did of me and my two daughters.

<font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Steelblue" size="6px">BCG <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">BusyCityGuy, though not of any actual relation to me, still looks up to me as a fatherly figure in his life. He is a well-apt, capable young man, but is known to steal the car keys on occasion.

<font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Maroon" size="6px">Boyo <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">A resident of Kanadia also, Boyo (though now heralded as Link Celestrial) is a good friend to both me and my two daughters.

<font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Steelblue" size="6px">Chicago <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">One of my random, prodigious friends on here, Chicago likes turtles, trains, and a ton of other things I don't even know.

<font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Teal" size="6px">Galileo <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Galileo, one of my philosopher-astronomer acquaintances along with Keplers, is another of my incidental, admirable friends on here.

<font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Midnightblue" size="6px">Harry <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Harry is a dapper, debonair young bachelor who likes to spend his time throwing fundraising parties and going for long moonlit walks on the beach. Some of his many hobbies include singing and driving around in convertibles with the top down.

<font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Indigo" size="6px">Indi <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Indigo is a young girl who spends her time wandering around bookstores and wolf sanctuaries and sleeping in her treehouse, which is a quiet haven for her whenever chaos breaks out in chat.

<font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Teal" size="6px">Abby <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Abby is another one of those epically awesome friends I have on here <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Darkslategrey" size="6px">Peat <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">A friend of mine since my first days on this wiki, she's probably the reason I even bothered staying. Thanks to her, I've now wasted a year and a half of my life on here, how could I not add to the list? <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Steelblue" size="6px">Riol <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Riolu dahling is my tennis-and-Pokemon-playing soulmate, and we were "happily" wed in a daydream on February 28, 2014 (or somewhere around there). <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Teal" size="6px">Swipester-kun <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Though we've known each other for quite some time, Swipe and me have recently developed the relationship of "Besties" so obviously he's on here; plus, he's just a really cool guy to hang around. <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Reenie Beanie" color="Navyblue" size="6px">Agent Spy <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">He is on here by request, therefore he shouldn't expect me to write up a good biography for him. <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

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<font face="Calibri" color="Midnightblue" size="3px">If you find yourself under the circumstance of having just read that list, expecting to find yourself on it, and now realized that your name was absent, don't go jump off a cliff yet, there still remains hope! As long as you aren't this one guy here, your aspirations can still flourish and become reality. There are numerous ways for you to express your outrage and indignation at being excluded, and for your consideration I have listed a couple here: Peradventure I am not on chat at the moment, feel free to remonstrate at me in a message on my wall, being sure to make your point quite plainly by using capital letters and marks of exclamation frequently throughout it.

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<font face="Calibri" color="Midnightblue" size="3px">If I AM on chat, you have full rights to enter and vociferate your objections at me in a private message, using, as I said before, a manifold amount of capitalization and punctuation.

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<font face="Calibri" color="Midnightblue" size="3px">Once you have done either one of these options, I can assure you that I shall read it and take the necessary steps for restitution on my part. <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Calligraffitti" color="Darkslategrey" size="5px">Things I Like <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">These are, to put it quite simply, a small amount of the vast number of things in this world that are good. I forget at the moment whether or not they are in any kind of order, they probably aren't.

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Mattia Cupelli

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Mattia Cupelli is like, the single, best, most amazing unsung musician I have ever heard, so yeah, I really want to support him on here by saying that. Check him out on Soundcloud or whatever you do, he has all of his songs and albums on Youtube as well, and yeah, you won't be disappointed. I mean, unless you like a completely different style of music and absolutely abhor anything beautiful, melodic, inspiring and sad. And even if you do hate any of that kind of stuff, dig yourself out from under your dreary ugly old rock and check him out anyway.

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqsGQVl-_k5qGE-PwGKO5DA <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Danbo <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Danbo is a amazing little robot, born of a little-known Japanese manga that almost nobody, including me, has ever read. He is well renowned in photography circles and with anyone who admires things that are in any way adorable. He simplistic look of absolute innocence and wonderment are two contributors to his overall charismatic appearance, and, to put it simply, he is the cutest thing ever to walk the face of the earth.

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Professor Layton

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Professor Layton and his young apprentice Luke are the stars of a renowned series of video games for handheld Nintendo systems. The games take place largely in London, and the main character wears a top hat; those are the two main factors of my conclusion that the games are good. They revolve mainly around solving various puzzles to venture through a storyline that in some games (Unwound Future, Diabolical Box) is very good, and then in other games (Azran Legacies) is awful.

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Calligraffitti" color="Darkslategrey" size="5px">Things That I Find Intolerable <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Mountain Dew <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Midnightblue" size="3px">Some people on here like that despicable drink, Mountain Dew. They somehow enjoy the atrocious sensation of the disgustingly sweet liquid pouring down their miserable, crystallized throats. I am not one of those people. My own daughter drinks it on occasion, mingled with an equal portion of root beer. It's certainly not a habit I would condone, but it goes back to the very roots of Mountain Dew. As you may or may not know, when Mountain Dew was first created in the 1940's, in Tennessee, it was intended to be mixed with whisky. Small wonder it is so unimaginably sweet, if it was created to be mixed with liquor.

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Citrus Scent <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Citrus scent seems to be, according to nearly everyone else out there, what your house ought to smell like. Air fresheners, toilet cleaners and chewing gum all work together to spew the filthy redolence my way. Honestly people, please, will it never stop? <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Crayons <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">

<font face="Calibri" color="Midnightblue" size="3px">Crayons are a despicable excuse for an art medium. They leave sloppy, thick, waxy lines that are in no way pleasing to the mind. They break easily, and are a terrific job to sharpen. Although there are supposed to be 133 colours currently in the Crayola line of crayons, anyone who has ever used them can state that there is only brown and purple. Why on earth these things are allowed in schools and among children is beyond me, for it is impossible for a child to ever be creative if he is constantly fighting he instrument he supposed to use. The only good artwork I have ever seen that utilized crayons featured them melted, running down a sheet of paper. I stuck it below.

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"> <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px"><font face="Arial" color="Black" size="1.5px">Warning: Pointless

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<font face="Calligraffitti" color="Darkslategrey" size="5px">What Other Users Think About Loney

<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">C'mon people, you know what this is and how to use it; let loose with your insults, compliments, warnings and general thoughts about me.


 * <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Loney 97? Dear me. The chap is truly intelligent. Like a chicken, with the face of a monkey, he is, no mistake about it. My only complaint would be his strange obsession with having buttered toast for dinner.


 * <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">A pretty fun dude if you ask me. I don't know him all that well as the groups of people he hangs with are not really my groups. But what he's always seemed to be witty and friendly


 * <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Loney is the best online husband I could ever ask for. He does the laundry, takes out the trash, and lets me fill the DVR with hours upon hours of tennis matches. He does burn the eggs a lot, though. But regardless, he is very wonderful. †hę Djøkøvïϛ Fån


 * <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Nice, mature, solid chap. Alemas2005: Mostly Harmless(Talk to me) 17:07, July 15, 2014 (UTC)


 * <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">Loney is an extremely impressive fellow who seeks to improve himself and the world through small tidbits of knowledge. I am frankly honored to know him. A5637 (talk) 17:13, July 15, 2014 (UTC)


 * <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">...Who? -Harold89 (talk)


 * <font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">He is a moronic idiot. I have no other words for him. Dinosaur Office RAWR!

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<font face="Calibri" color="Steelblue" size="3px">This part, the Muddle, is not completed; therefore it may seem devoid of information at the time of your reading. Don't get all into a stew over it, though, Rome wasn't built in a day, and writing a userpage such as mine is at least as arduous a task as building Rome.

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<font face="Calibri" color="Black" size="3px">And so now we arrive at the bittersweet (but mostly sweet) end of this rampant literary mess. I trust that you, the reader, have enjoyed the minute moments you spent perusing this page, and if you are in anywise unhappy now over your decision there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

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