User blog:RepComCustoms./The RCC Radio Show Humor (Mugshot Monday) 1/5/14

I finally did another installment of the RCC Radio Show. I did two shows 1-4-14 and 1-5-14. Here's some of the finer quotes from the shows. Most of the quotes are from my "Mugshot Monday" segment.



"And this guy...holy crud! This guy looks like Bill Cosby with black hair. The guy's 52 and charged with drug equipment possesion."



"His name is Alfred and he looks like an alien.”

“Alfred… the… Alien…”

“Oh, she’s creepy. She has square hair. He’s creepy…”

“This guy looks like he wants to rip your socks off-- DUDE THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE HULK HOGAN.”

“This guy looks like the Godfather, kind of…”

“That guy looks like my mother…”

<span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“That guy is totally Asian, that guy has a weird beard…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“His face is just like a pillar!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“He’s as black as Bob Marley and he has Bob Marley’s hair, his name is… Tree-vair-ee-us…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I’m sure his false name was Bob Marley.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“That guy looks like every black man on the planet…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“This guy, dude, this guy’s tattoos… he was probably high when he was arrested which is why he was arrested for drug possession. He probably makes his own drugs because everyone knows it’s cheaper to make them yourself than to buy them from a dealer…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Are you getting all these amazing nuggets of comedy? Good.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Oh, Brickmaster, I love you, dude.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Time to sift through memecenter, this will be Memecenter Sundays…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“See, we don’t need messages on our underwear…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Some of these are so inappropriate that I’m laughing but I can’t post…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Oh, I don’t know if I showed you this but, uh, let’s do dot JPG… now click on that and I’m going to read you the caption. “Man emerges from bunker Y2K bunker 14 years after Y2K scare.”” (Note he didn’t even read the photo caption, which is the funny part.)

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Laughter: good for your health… Nobody laughed except the guys in the back. The rest are dead because it’s Kim Jong Un.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:15px;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.15;">“Oh, that would hurt… “Imagine if we let our kids slide down slides that were cheese graters.””

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“We can post the Russian one though, because jeez man, everything in Russia - it’s crazy!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“Meanwhile in Russia there’s a bear in the back of a taxi, I believe… yes, that’s a bear in the back of a taxi. Gotta love Russia.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“Just for you Star Wars nerds, we have a crossdresser in our midst… And Jabba just says no.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“Okay, Hitler again… Meanwhile in Germany…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“Okay, that’s creepy… creepy… creepy… that’s not safe for chat, uhh… ok, that’s creepy… I’m going to post the creepiest in chat, thumb drives…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“Uhh… *sound like a dying whale* SPIDERCAT!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“Oh, okay, oh, okay, hai.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“Okay, now this is called A Bully in the Making and it’s pretty funny… “Tommy practices the piano twenty minutes a day. What does this mean?” “He is a big nerd” is what a five year old wrote.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“Brickmaster can back me up… Brickmaster, before I post this picture… in Australia, do you have sharks, monkeys, lightning and snakes?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“*VERY LOUD STATIC* Da da da…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“A Mexican stormtrooper with-- *sound cuts off for a minute* --*laughing*”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“*rapidly read out the URL of his blog* Put THAT into your URL.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">“It’s a <span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">blog <span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">. B-L-O-G. There you go.” <span style="font-size:15px;color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">