User:ShermanTheMythran

About Me

 * My hair violates religious policies in 37 different countries.
 * I have two identities: maestro35, and ShermanTheMythran. They are both me, but I am either one of them at any given time. maestro is more serious, pensive, intelligent, clear-headed, technologically advanced, and all that good stuff. Sherm is sarcastic, funny, witty, socially acceptable, sarcastic, etc.
 * If you run into Sherman, chances are you'll be trolled. (Anyone remember the 'Virus Code'? Good times...) Here are some user reviews. Roseann Shadowflame: "Oh... MY... GOSH YOU ARE DEMENTED! THAT IS SO GROSS OH EWWWWW DELETE DELETE DELETETETETETETETE! THAT. IS. SO. DISGUSTING EWW EWEWEWEWEWEW AUGH MAN, THAT IS DISGUSTING I AM SO NEVER GONNA FORGIVE YOU! AUGH, GROSS! EHMPH! THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! FREAK! YOU ARE A FREAK, MY FRIEND, A FREAK. IF WE EVER MEET, FIRST THING I'M DOING IS PUNCHING YOU. AWWWW GROSS. YOU ARE DISGUSTING MY FRIEND. DISGUSTING. OHHHHHHH DANG. NABIT! YOU. ARE. HORRIFYING. DEMENTED LUNATIC FREAK! INTO ARKHAM ASYLUM, WITH THEE! OH GROSS" Yeah, that one was a lot of fun. TheNightwing44: "And what did you keep saying about me wetting my bed?" That one's a long story.
 * maestro has been called "tense" and "too serious" frequently. The critics have spoken, so I have made a New Years' resolution for 2013 to lighten up. Which just might be the reason I troll you.

A note from the Shermans
What are the Realms of Insanity, you ask? They are the Orchestrator's imagination. All he ever thinks or imagines, including himself, dwell in the Realms of Insanity. The place is not easy- no, impossible- to describe, even though we've been in it as long as we can remember... Err, the Orchestrator can remember. We're really just figments of the Orchestrator's imagination. We are an army, known as the Shermans, that maintain order- an insane kind of order- throughout the Orchestrator's Realms of Insanity. Who is this orchestrator fellow, anyways? Hush now, we mustn't talk of him disrespectfully. Always capitalize his name when you speak it, and don't disagree with him, he may set you adrift on the Sea of Thoughts. Everything that has ever been thought by the Orchestrator is held there. Our thoughts are too, but technically they're the Orchestrator's thoughts, since we are imagined by him. However, it must be noted that the Orchestrator is not in the Sea of Thoughts, even though he is really his own thought. It's insanely confusing, because for the sane, insanity is insane, but for the insane, the insane is sane. Insane, right? Wrong, these are the Realms of Insanity, so it is sane (relative to insane insanity, which we think is equivalent sane sanity). It's all relative. Also, the Orchestrator is informed of things he would otherwise not know or be aware of by the Mystics. The Mystics explain what is going on outside of the Realms. The Mystics can be hostile, so it is best they be avoided, especially when you invade their sanctions in the Sea of Thoughts. If you ever wish to visit the Realms of Insanity, you just might go insane, which is sane by our standards (the Orchestrator defines those). You can enter by means of the conveyor belt. This keeps inhabitants from leaving. Normally they're too insane to remember to turn the dang thing off. In closing, the Orchestrator imagines and controls all, including himself. We don't know how that is possible, but it is not for our insanity to question. For the Orchestrator and the Realms of Insanity! Insanity to you all. -the Shermans

 __NOWYSIWYG__

A Story
Hello,. Today things will be very strange for you. The world is changing... Things are no longer as they seem. Come, let us journey into your thoughts within my thoughts; you will be viewing yourself as if from a distance. Almost as if you were reading the events off of an undisclosed person's user page; but no matter, our time is here.

*ZZZAP*

You wake up in the middle of nowhere.

Hello,, how are you feeling? Good, then the teleportation was successful. You are probably wondering where you are. You are in the Realms of Insanity; they are a mystical place inside your thoughts inside my thoughts. Feel free to get up and look around, there are many curious things to find. But beware, the Director is seeking you to control your thoughts. He is being fought by the Orchestrator, ruler of the Realms of Insanity and leader of the Shermans, an expendable army. Beware for your own safety. Farewell.

You travel toward a large crowd.

Before stood an army of unique individuals – rather, an army of a unique individual; for they all looked alike. And they not only looked alike, they looked identical. All of them – identical to each other. It was almost too much to believe. All wore the same purple uniform, adorned with strange emblems; all stood at the same height, had the same face.

They seemed to be conversing amongst themselves. Every so often, one would poke his head out from the group to look at, then pull back to confer with the others. A few minutes of this nervous observation and discussion went by. Finally, one stepped out from the others.

“Are you lost?” he said.

“I – ” began.

“We thought so,” he interrupted him. “None of us have ever seen you before. And we see everything.”

“Everything?” queried.

“No.” He shuffled from one foot to the other. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Aren’t you going to ask us where you are?” He looked at pleadingly.

“Umm, ok,” said slowly. “Where – ”

“Where are you, you ask?” he said, his face immediately brightening. “You’re in the Realms of Insanity!”

“Wh – ”

“What are the Realms of Insanity, you ask?” he interrupted again. “They are the Orchestrator's imagination. All he ever thinks or imagines, including himself, dwell in the Realms of Insanity.”

“The place is not easy – ” another cut in.

“Impossible!” corrected a third

“ – to describe,” continued the second, with a glare at #3. “Even though we’ve been in it as long as we can remember.”

“Err, the Orchestrator can remember,” corrected a fourth.

“We're really just figments of the Orchestrator's imagination,” explained the first. “We are an army, known as the Shermans, that maintain order – ”

“An insane kind of order – ”

“Throughout the Orchestrator's Realms of Insanity STOP INTERRUPTING!” finished the first Sherman.

There was a brief silence.

“Wh – ”

“Who is this orchestrator fellow, anyways?” the Sherman asked for. glared at him. “What? You were going to say it anyway.”

“You don’t know that,” snapped. “You interrupted me before I could – ”

“Logic demanded you ask that.”

“‘Logic’ does not demand I do anything, no more than this orkestrig guy you keep spouting abou – ”

“Hush now, we mustn’t talk of him disrespectfully,” he admonished.

“Always capitalize his name when you speak it,” chorused Sherman.

“and don’t disagree with him, he may set you adrift on the Sea of Thoughts,” Sherman chimed in.

“Everything that has ever been thought by the Orchestrator is held there,” Sherman explained. “Our thoughts are too, but technically they're the Orchestrator's thoughts, since we are imagined by him. However, it must be noted that the Orchestrator is not in the Sea of Thoughts, even though he is really his own thought.”

“I was originally telling him,” the first complained. “Let me finish!”

“It’s insanely confusing, because for the sane, insanity is insane, but for the insane, the insane is sane. Insane, right?” he continued without him.

“Wrong,” sang out the second. “These are the Realms of Insanity, so it is sane.”

“Relative to insane insanity, which we think is equivalent sane sanity.”

“It’s all relative, you see.”

There was a pause.

“It hurts,” one whimpered.

“Also,” picked up another, “the Orchestrator is informed of things he would otherwise not know or be aware of by the Mystics.”

“The Mystics explain what is going on outside of the Realms,” a Sherman helpfully added.

“The Mystics can be hostile, so it is best they be avoided, especially when you invade their sanctions in the Sea of Thoughts,” the other picked up. “You are going to invade, right?”

“If you ever wish to visit the Realms of Insanity – ”

“HE’S IN THEM, YOU IDIOT!” screeched a new one.

“ – You just might go insane,” he carried on, ignoring the outburst. “Which is sane by our standards,” he dropped his voice to a whisper, “the Orchestrator defines those.”

“You can enter by means of the conveyor belt.” They all turned to look at the new Sherman. “You can get in by a conveyor belt...” he defended himself. They all turned away.

“In closing,” stated the first Sherman, “the Orchestrator imagines and controls all, including himself.”

“We don’t know how that is possible, but it is not for our insanity to question,” finished another for him.

“For the Orchestrator and the Realms of Insanity!” they all cheered.

turned and walked away.

You are transported to another dimension of the Realms.

“Hello, I am the Director. I am going to destroy you, then I can control the Realms of Insanity! The Orchestrator will be powerless to resist me without existing in your thoughts! Muahahaha! Any last words?”

“Yes, from us!” The Shermans had appeared mysteriously in the back of the room. They turn to you. “We got bored when you left and imagined ourselves wherever you were!”

“You shameful miscreants, you cannot defeat me!”

The Director vanishes.

“We know where he went! ” the Shermans smiled evilly. “Come on guys, let's sick 'im!”

The Shermans then imagined themselves near the base of the Conveyor Belt. They gulped.

“Come, fellas, let us do what must be done!”

And so they walked, and they walked, and they walked, and they walked, and they walked, and then one of them finally remember to turn off the conveyor belt. And then they walked and found the Director.

“Aha, Director, we shall defeat you!”

And so they defeated him.

“That was weird... We just had to imagine that we defeated him.”

“You moron!” shouted another. “You could have just said that all along and we wouldn't have had to walk so much!” The Shermans were strewn about, panting and sweating from the long hike.

And so it is that peace and an insane kind of sanity (or a sane kind of insanity, depending on the way you look at it) had been restored to the Realms of Insanity.

Thanks to my older sister for composing the discussion between and the Shermans, along with convincing me to write this out in the first place. Hope you enjoyed it, stay sane. Upvote story Kudos