User blog:LlamaMinister/WIP Chapter One of Several For a Potential Book

So...I'm writing, and I hate my writing, so...I would like some advice on how to make this less not good. Have fun reading the crap.________________________________________________________________________________________________ “Thief! Guards, the thief!”     The shouts cut through the air of the musty market like a knife through bread. Market goers and shop keeps began looking around, all in a slight panic. A small platoon of Glendel guards came rushing down the mossy stone steps leading into the market, shouting orders amongst their ranks. “Look over there!”    “Find that bloody thief!”    “Where did he go?!”The market went up in a panic. Guards were forcing citizens to the ground and flipping over stalls. Shouts were erupting from everywhere in the market alley. Chaos ensued. Citizens began fighting back, yelling and screaming at the guards. This is exactly what Gaffney was hoping for. He took the chaos as an opportunity and dashed towards the nearest market stall still mostly standing, dodging any wayward swings and strikes from the guards and citizens alike, collected as much food up as he could, and ran towards the stairs. Luckily for Gaffney, the guards were too preoccupied with the current riot to pay him much mind, and he just about made it to the top of the stairs, until he heard exactly what he didn’t want to hear. “Guards, there he is! At the top of the stairs!”    “Dammit…”Not even a moment later, almost all the guards looked towards the stairs, and straight at Gaffney. Time froze. Everything just stopped, suspended. Gaffney gave a half-hearted laugh. “So...should I run now or-”Gaffney was cut off by the sounds of the guards shouting and sprinting towards the stairs like ravenous dogs to meat. Gaffney didn’t wait to finish his sarcastic remark, spun around and ran towards the gates of Glendel. The guards tried their best to catch up to him, but their numbers slowed them down, and it seemed the rioting citizens weren’t done with them yet. As Gaffney ran, his pursuers’ numbers fell, until he didn’t even know if anyone still knew where he was, but he didn’t stop. He ran and ran, shoving everyone in his path out of the way. He couldn’t stay here anymore. They finally saw his face. He’d be wanted for years in Glendel. He had to get away. He erupted through the Glendel gate, panting from exhaustion. The guards out here hadn’t heard what had happened yet. They were startled to see someone in such a rush. Hardly anyone leaves the walls of Glendel, especially in such a rush. “Why the rush, ser?”Gaffney didn’t answer. His head swiveled on his neck, looking at the guards on his sides. The guards could see he was full of worry and immediately became suspicious. “Why are you in such a rush, might I ask,” the guard to Gaffney’s right said, placing his hand on the hilt of his sword. The other guard took the bow off of his shoulder and nocked an arrow. “Well, you see, I...well…” And then Gaffney ran. He didn’t look back, but he heard an arrow whiz by his head. Then another. And another. Gaffney never heard a fourth. He just kept running, steadfast in his plan to hide. He didn’t know where he’d go.''“Maybe Velwood, though that would be the first place Glendel guards would look. Pilwhen might work, but the fishers there aren’t the nicest to strangers. Last time I went there, I ended up with a knife in my-”'' Gaffney tripped, face first in the mud. He groaned, and slowly raised to his knees, his head spinning. Groggily, he looked around the environment. He didn’t know where he was. He couldn’t think. The pain in his head was too much. Time felt slower. Everything seemed surreal. The birds chirping, the bugs buzzing, none of the sounds seemed like they really existed in the world. However, one sound brought Gaffney back into reality. One sound that filled him with fear. The sound of yelling in the distance.“Ugh...not now…”Gaffney tried to get up, but he fell back down to his knees, pain filling his right leg. He winced. There was no way he could stand and run. So, he did the next best thing. He dug his hands into the thick mud and pulled. And then he put his other hand in the mud and pulled. He could hear the yells getting louder and louder. Gaffney didn’t know how close they were. He just kept pulling himself, putting all his strength into it. He reached the side of the road, a sigh of relief leaving his lips. He began pulling himself under a nearby bush, but upon feeling the cold, wet leaves touch his face, he slipped, his legs following his body over the ledge. He began to roll downhill, hitting shrubs and branches, receiving cuts and bruises until finally, he splashed into a small stream at the bottom of the hill.