User blog:Aravis Tarkheena/LMBWFF Part 7

Just make sure you read Part 6 or this will make no sense. I also totally didn't proofread this time.

PART 7

"Anyways, I decided to call this meeting now, because otherwise you'll just all sit around doing nothing and eating all my potatoes and sandwiches. I need a volunteer." It scanned the room full of valuable, trusted, helpful and mature contributors to its wiki. As valuable, trusted, helpful and mature as they were, all of them were intently looking away, pretending they weren't there. "Alright," Drew said. "AG, you're voluntold."

"Why me?" She whinged, reluctantly getting up.

"Because you looked the least interested. Now look here, everyone. I have developed a very simple method of time travel and it has effectively transported my two guinea pigs, Bob and Bill, 30 seconds into the future and 45 seconds into the past, respectively. I need to make sure it works on humans now. This is where our dear friend, AG-SISTEMS, comes in, having so kindly and eagerly volunteered."

"Now, for the guinea pigs, I planted a chip in the base of their necks (yes, Irethina, they have necks), and the chip is compatible with a computer program I also designed. With a few simple strings of coding (here's an example of what I used for Bill)-" it passed out large stacks of papers nearly black with strange lettering- "I can send living organisms through time and space."

"Drew, none of this makes any sense whatsoever," said BCG, her brow furrowed. "This is 15 sheets of paper filled with random unrecognisable gibberish that's supposed to send a hamster 45 seconds into the past? Even if this isn't all bosh, how is it supposed to work for a human?"

"I don't know," It said innocently. "But if it's good enough for my sweet little Billydoodle, it's good enough for you. I may have to write a few dozen more pages for each of you, but don't try to understand it. I don't even understand it myself. But it works, and that's all we need to know."

"What if it malfunctions?" asked Jade, suspicious.

It shrugged again. "Then it malfunctions and you're stuck in history. Or the future. But again, it worked for Bobbypie and Billydoodle, so I wouldn't worry."

"They're brickin' HAMSTERS," Aryon muttered.

Drew coughed."Guinea pigs, please. Not hamsters."

"One more thing, Drew. There is no way you are implanting us with chips," The Nameless One glowered.

"Are you sure? It would be quite handy for you. The concept is that you have to have the chip on you, touching flesh at all time, so having them implanted is the most practical option," Drew explained.

"I'm sure," said Katu. "Once we get back to real and normal life, I don't want to still be at the mercy of Drew and his time travel."

Drew smiled knowingly. "I suspected you'd drag your feet about the chips, so I prepared a backup plan. It's basically just a tight-fitting silicone bracelet with the chip on the inside, so it's pressed against the skin of your wrist. As long as you don't take it off, you'll be fine.”

“That sounds better,” Rio conceded.

Drew set up its laptop, then beckoned AG over, and fastened on of the chipped bracelets around her wrist. “Just a moment, I’ve got to write up the code.”

“Are you SURE this is safe?” demanded AG. “Do you stake your life on it?”

“Nope, but I’ll stake yours on it,” Drew said cheerfully, staring intently at its keyboard. “This should do…” It stabbed the enter key and AG promptly disappeared. “There, she’s gone outside the door and 30 seconds into the future,” said Drew.

“You IDIOT!” Jade seethed. “What if she doesn’t come back?”

The Nameless One glanced up again. “That was a personal attack.” She resumed reading.

“So what?!” Cougars raged. “This is SERIOUS!” he ranted on, and slapped The Nameless One across the face.

“That was a physical attack,” The passive Nameless One said with a hint of a smile on her stinging face. “Two hour ban for you.”

Cougars also disappeared.

In response to the frozen looks on the users’ faces, Riolizabethanne said, “It’s just two hours locked in the closet; Cougars isn’t gone forever. Not like AG might be,” she said, shooting a terrible look at Drew.

“AG’s not gone forever, guys,” Drew said disgustedly. It walked over to the door and opened it, then pulled a bemused AG into the room.

“That… was… AMAZING. I’ll now be living the same 30 seconds over again, and I know what will happen, because I just lived them, and while I was living them the first time, I said this too, and I felt like I’d lived this time before, and it just goes on and on… like a picture of the same picture, you know. You see the same thing smaller and smaller in each picture, but it’s all the same, and you can just keep looking further into it. That’s what my brain feels like; I said EXACTLY THESE WORDS… Brick. This is amazing.”

Drew beamed. “See? I told you it worked.”