User blog:Katuvis/LMBWFF Part 2

Guac asked for it, and here it is. And I suppose I should employ a disclaimer, right? "I, Katuchim, do not own the LMB Wiki, and I'm glad I don't."

Drew sat alone in an office. Neutral Drew. Drew was neither male nor female, so for now the wiki leader shall be referred to as an 'it'.

Anyways, it stared blankly at its computer screen. This business with Marus was turning into a mess. The ‘death’ count for users on the LMB Wiki had risen past two dozen, and Drew had just lost the entire BusyCityFamily. Where to, it had no idea.

The office door flew open with a bang, and two teenaged girls stormed in. Drew looked up at them, slightly startled. “This is MY office, MY building, MY military base, and the home of the LMB Wiki. I’m the only person ever here. Where did you two come from?”

“Don’t give us that, Drew. What. Did. You. Do. To. Us?” one girl demanded.

“Nothing,” it said calmly. “Explain yourselves.”

The girls exchanged a glance. They looked around 15 or 16 years old; one was wearing an extremely long coloured scarf, and the other wore a pair of Beats around her neck.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know, Drew,” the scarf-wearer said. “YOU tell us why WE’RE here, and please, PLEASE return us to normal,” she pled.

“My office would be returned to normal if you left,” Drew replied. “I did not do anything to anyone in the past 48 hours, besides kick Madkatmaximus for using questionable language.”

“So,” the girl with the Beats said sarcastically, “You did NOT drag me out of my house and normal life, DEFINITELY did not drop me into a world of nothingness where I stumble across your military base by the merest chance, and on top of that, certainly didn’t turn me into a girl! No, you assuredly did not.” She crossed her arms and glared at Drew.

She had finally got its attention. “You mean you’re not normally a girl?” it asked, mildly surprised.

“No!” the girl with the scarf snapped. “If you didn’t do this to us, who did?”

Drew’s face turned grim. “Marus,” it said flatly.

“I deleted a blog by him yesterday,” the girl wearing the Beats said. “His writing skills are amateur. What makes you think he could do something like this?”

“Wait a moment,” Drew said. It looked at the two carefully. “Who are you?”

“Riolu.”

“And Alemas.”

Drew’s face suddenly contorted, and it looked away quickly.

“STOP LAUGHING,” Alemas shrieked.

Rio looked at her. “Now I warn you for using caps.”

“I merely raised my voice,” Alemas complained, tugging at her scarf.

“It’s the same thing now,” Drew quickly asserted, struggling to keep a straight face. “But if you’re girls now, you’ll have to be renamed. I can’t wrap my mind around this.”

“I know what to call you,” Alemas said, looking at Rio with vengeance in her eyes. “From now on, your name is Riolulu.”

It has Rio’s turn to shriek now. “NO! NEVER!”

“Caps, Riolulu,” Alemas said smugly.

Drew sighed. “Look, you’re Riolizabeth, and you’re Alison.”

“No,” the girls said simultaneously, then glared at each other.

“I refuse to have a girly name-” Alison started.

Rio cut in. “I demand that you call me Riolizabethanne. Spelled with an E.”

Drew nodded at Riolizabethanne, and turned to the hostile Alison. “What’s wrong with your name?”

“Call me Alemas, or call me nothing,” Alison stated firmly.

“Well I’m not going to call you Alemas, so I suppose you’re Nothing,” it said peaceably.

“That’s better than Alison,” Nothing bargained, “but I’d prefer The Unnamed One.”

“Fine, whatever you wish,” Drew agreed, starting to get annoyed. If these two reliable, trustworthy and mature members of its wiki were acting like this, how would the rest be behaving?