User blog:MsD/A message from MsD

Guys, I promise you, everything in the paragraphs below is real. I've been looking back, and I feel really bad, and just, to say it simply, want to share my story. It's the only way I have of saying sorry.

I beg -

BEG -

you to read every last word of this story. This is essentially my life story.

Forward...

When I was in first grade, I met this kid named Jason. Him and I got along quite well. Eventually, we started to hang out every now and then, and my parents became friends with his. He shared the same interests in me: video games, Star Wars, and sports. This friendship carried on for a few years, but the only thing that was drifting apart were our social positions.

You see, he was interested in video games and whatnot, but him and I had a difference: he knew how to keep his mouth shut. Him, unlike me, wouldn't talk about his recent Pokemon findings at school or blab about how Episode I sucks. Because of this (but not solely), he eventually became one of the most popular if not THE most popular kid at school. Meanwhile, I was at the bottom, drifting in the little nerd social group.

A couple years pass, but not memories. Everyone still thinks I'm a nerd; and so do Jason's friends. One day, although I don't remember exactly when, during my routine trips to his house to play hockey and compete in a Pokemon battle, I noticed that the kids by his house were acting different. They all had their sodas in one hand, hockey stick in another, but they were acting a little strange.

After a while, the hockey game went under way. I was, as usual, one of the ones on the bench during the first portion, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed watching them hit tennis balls back and forth and swear at each other when they missed the net. Jason, captain of the whole event, said the first five minutes were up, and I stood up to go in the game; but he told me to sit back down. When I asked him when I get to play, he said "later".

Another period of hits, misses, swearing, "checking" (it was basically shoving them onto the grass), and whatnot, five more minutes were up; but he still wouldn't let me in. I just decided I'd go with the flow and sit out for the game.

After a few more cycles of this, Jason went inside. That's when Nathan, one of the more popular and tough guys on the block, went up to me. Him and I didn't have the best relationship; he was one of the ones who hated me constantly for loving Pokemon and Star Wars and whatnot. I had no clue what was coming next; and it would've taken me a million years to guess. I had no clue, no idea, no hint; but this one sentence, these few words that came out of his mouth, would change my life forever.

"Go back to your hole."

He then punched me in the stomach. He was a wrestler at the time, the exact opposite of the nerd I was, and so it took everything I had in me to keep myself on my feet. I had no clue what happened. I saw Jason standing there, just a foot inside his garage, and he repeated whilst staring into my eyes:

"Yeah, get out of here."

Being a borderline goody-two-shoes, I refused to swear at them or argue. I simply said, "Fine, I'm going home", and left.

When I got home, my family was outside on my porch. They, noticing the shocked look on my face, asked "What's going on?" I told them that the Nathan kid was being an idiot (this wasn't hard to do as I had done it before on previous encounters with the kid). But this time, unlike the last few, they told me to go inside, and they followed me in.

My mother asked me what had happened. Now, my mother grew up in the 'hood' - where people were shot on a routine night, her peers getting mugged on walks expected, where people would come home from a school day with bruises daily. She KNEW what was up.

I told her what had happened. I told her everything. I told her that the boy we had bought things for, the boy that was my only friend, the only kid I could trust with anything, had turned on me. Not because I was a bad person, not because I was stupid, but because my interests categorized me as a "nerd". It's stupid.

My parents then called the principal's office of my school. I thought it was really stupid that I couldn't get the chance to beat him up before the school got involved with the whole thing, but whatever floats her boat I guess.

The next day at school, I didn't even look at Jason. We didn't talk, we didn't nothing. A few hours pass, then, in music class, I see a tall figure across the hall in another room; I realize that is the principal's room, and that is Nathan. I see him walk into another room following the principal. After they fade, I shoot a look - the first of the day - at Jason, and notice he's looking too.

He has a shocked look on his face, and then he turns his head to me - and almost as if he was choking out words, he stumbled out an apology. Nothing special, just an "I'm sorry."

sureyouare.jpg

Fast-forwarding through the rest of the initial backstory: Nathan is talked to but ultimately nothing happens, nobody else gets anything either. Me and Jason don't talk, don't look, don't do anything to each other. About 3 months pass, still in the same school year.

It's Christmas. To those of you people who have been trapped under a rock since birth, Christmas is where you get gifts to celebrate the birth of Jesus. We, as always, wake up at 4:30 AM, rip tiny tears in the wrapping to get a glimpse of what's ahead, then two hours of nagging mom and dad to wake the he...eck up and get downstairs so we can get our free stuff already. Eventually it happens, we go downstairs, and we start.

A good way through, there's a gift marked "To: Andrew and David". Knowing that gifts marked for two people are usually terrible, I wasn't that excited, but nonetheless we wanted to open it. So, we did.

It was a game, one I had recognized from a LEGO Club advertisement a while back: LEGO Universe. I wasn't the most excited person ever, but hey, it's a game. So, my brother loaded it into the disc drive, we ran it, installed it, could've played it but but of course dad wants us to work for it, we do, etc etc etc and then I watch my brother go through the opening missions at Avant Gardens. It seems like a pretty interesting game; I shove him out of the chair and create my account. My name was randomly selected as "MassiveSodaDuck" - I flipping love soda, I'd die to have a duck as pet, and I love soda massively. What a perfect name. Now let's play the game.

I'm immediately addicted. The gameplay was great, missions were awesome, but there was one thing that topped all.

The community.

The people, they actually cared about me! I could trust them! (unlike flippin 2007 roblox) I could kill wild apes with them! I LOVE THIS GAME I LOVE MY LIFE ASFDDFSJDFDSGGKDSLG

Cycle of this happens for 8 months: lonely day at school, struggle with homework, go outside to play baseball with the few friends I had (they were half my age), and then play on this amazing game and its people that I loved so much. It was the ultimate thing to block the giant hole in my life that was the absence of social-ness.

Time flies, and then one day I decide I want a picture of my minifigure wearing rare items taken. So, I look it up online, and it turns out there's a whole page on a site named The LEGO Universe Wiki dedicated to them: AwesomeMe44.

Realized it wasn't a page, but a user, and so I contacted the person. They stated they were a professional photographer (which was obviously a lie, but I still loved him), and so we decided we would meet in Nimbus and get my fig's pic taken.

It was beautiful. So beautiful that I decided I would join the site to have this done easier. It was 25 October 2011. I also joined the LU Fanon Wiki, Brickipedia, and a couple more wikis. (Fun fact: I also vandalized Mythrun's userpage. For those of you who remember that time period, Mythrun was a stiff block who incinerated anyone who insulted his image. http://lufanon.wikia.com/wiki/User:Mythrun?diff=5174&oldid=4227 )

I eventually found chat, and it was absolutely amazing. I could say anything I wanted, to whoever I wanted, and they would respond and carry on conversations without constantly being huge jerks! And I could do it again the next day, and the next day, and the next!!!!!!!111!!!1!!!11

The incident the year prior still hadn't left my mind. It was like a scar - bothersome and wouldn't leave. I always wanted that feeling of power, the feeling that I wasn't a low-class punching bag with no life.

And so, I started duping myself friends. Kind of a lot. (It's sad, I know.) To get back the power, I created an antagonist account, 99up, and started trolling people on LEGO Universe Wiki chat. It was quite a lot of fun. I had never, ever, in my life been in this position before. I remember at some times nearly half the chat were my dupe accounts in different windows, carrying on conversations about made-up stuff. To gain myself more respect, I also told people that I was in Alpha and Beta and whatnot (almost everyone on the wiki was at that time, it was 2011), and they all started actually looking up to me.

It was amazing.

I also liked helping out at this other site, called the LEGO Message Boards Wiki. It was a small wiki at the time, inhabited by the Shermans, Drew, Bud1995, Crobatmaster, Coconutrules or whatever his stupid name was, LBK, Flex217 (I just about cried after I typed that, he practically defines 2011 LEGO Wikia) etc. Awesome people that I really miss. I started speaking to them every day, and I was respected. Like, a whole lot. Except by LFY, because we ended up being mod contenders. I won an unofficial modreq at the time, and won mod while Drew was gone to keep a troll by the name of Coolshark under control.

One of the greatest moments of my life, to be honest. It sounds so sad but it's true.

Eventually, the newly-formed antagonist 99up side of me created by Nathan and Jason caught up, and I started being a huge jerk at the LMBW as well. My respect drained real quick. It was horrible. I couldn't gain it back. No matter what I did, what I tried - all I wanted was a little respect! I couldn't get it. My reputation was ruined.

Forever.

When you go on chat and look at me, and call me an idiot, make sarcastic remarks (I'm talking to you Le :P ), this - above is why. Everything I've typed. It's why.

So, with my respect drained and unregainable, I turned fully to the other source of power:

antagonism.

I constantly destroyed everyone and everything, made vandalism accounts, spammed, provoked people and started arguments, overall just being a huge jerk. It was the only thing I had left to drain power from the internet; everything else was gone in one foul swoop.

I was banned, blocked, I duped to get out of it, re-banned, blocked, impersonated a couple times, etc. It wasn't great. But hey, I was getting the power -

the power I lost with one sentence by a bully.

THINK BEFORE YOU SAY THINGS.