User:Alemas2005/Chat/Logs/12 February 2017

 [09:21]  I didn't wanna repeat "eyes" [09:21]  but I thought it'd still be good w/ semicolon [09:21]  Your thought? [09:21]  Haha yep x3 [09:22]  It's good. If I were perfecting it, I might try finding a smoother way to say that bit [09:22]  Welp, feel free to perfect it.  [09:22]  K  I'll let you know if anything comes to mind  [09:25]  Sweet.  [09:30]  Oh, also, I'm assuming you must have talked right before about fumes or something? Like this little part, the "it" doesn't seem to clearly refrence something  "For most of the athletes involved in this sport, it is thought to be pleasing to the senses" [09:33]  Yeah, no, those are the first two paragraphs. I did that on purpose, trying to add style. Does it look stupid? <img width="19" height="19" title=":P" alt=":P" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110420112327/legomessageboards/images/4/47/Tongue_Smiley.gif"> [09:35] <Alemas2005> Why look who's here. [09:36] <Veralann> oh alemas is here [09:36] <Veralann> I'm out [09:36] <Veralann> goodnight all [09:37] <Alemas2005> ...I wasn't referring to myself. [09:37] <Alemas2005> <img width="19" height="19" title=":P" alt=":P" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110420112327/legomessageboards/images/4/47/Tongue_Smiley.gif"> [09:37] <ThroughMyEyes> Veralann doesn't want to see Alemas? <img width="19" height="19" title=":P" alt=":P" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110420112327/legomessageboards/images/4/47/Tongue_Smiley.gif"> [09:37] <ThroughMyEyes> Ale, what time is it over there? <img width="19" height="19" title=":P" alt=":P" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110420112327/legomessageboards/images/4/47/Tongue_Smiley.gif"> [09:37] <Veralann> alemas I was not referring to your comment in any way [09:38] <Alemas2005> 10:37. [09:38] <Veralann> I was merely noting that you entered chat [09:41] <ThroughMyEyes> <img width="19" height="19" title=":P" alt=":P" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110420112327/legomessageboards/images/4/47/Tongue_Smiley.gif"> [09:42] <BusyCityGirl> Not stupid, TME. Stylish. Upon reading through a second time, it was clearer. It's fine. Could maybe use some polishing somehow to bring out that it's referring to the exhaust, but small potatoes. It's good. Idk what it is quite with that spot that reads slightly less smoothly for me. ;p Probably just me. Idk x3 [09:43] <Alemas2005> JESUS. [09:43] <Alemas2005> https://www.nationstates.net/nation=alelusia/detail=trend?censusid=32 [09:43] <Alemas2005> Alelusia's become kinda religious again! [09:43] <BraveNewRoyalty> REPENT [09:43] <BraveNewRoyalty> REPENT [09:43] <BraveNewRoyalty> REPENT [09:44] <ThroughMyEyes> Er, I'll have to take a look at it. [09:44] <ThroughMyEyes> How can I improve on the style of the first few sentences to make it clearer the first read? [09:44] <ThroughMyEyes> Where, Ale? [09:45] <Alemas2005> ...? <img width="19" height="19" title=":P" alt=":P" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110420112327/legomessageboards/images/4/47/Tongue_Smiley.gif"> [09:45] <Alemas2005> Can yiu read graphs? <img width="19" height="19" title=":P" alt=":P" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110420112327/legomessageboards/images/4/47/Tongue_Smiley.gif"> [09:45] <Alemas2005> "you" [09:46] <ThroughMyEyes> Perhaps by now they should have been used to it, but the body is curious in its many methods of defense. For most of the athletes involved in this sport, it is thought to be pleasing to the senses, yet their involuntary responses reveal the true effect. It bites sharply at the men’s eyes; their white orbs blink rapidly, gradually swelling with tears. The pungent odor of the exhaust fumes viciously courses through their nasal cavities and into their ears and invades their beings through every exposed orifice. [09:46] <ThroughMyEyes> No. I'm too lazy. <img width="19" height="19" title=":P" alt=":P" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110420112327/legomessageboards/images/4/47/Tongue_Smiley.gif"> [09:47] <ThroughMyEyes> *should be used to it [09:47] <ThroughMyEyes> Does that last sentence need to be moved down into the next paragraph? [09:47] <BusyCityGirl> Nice. I like that better [09:48] <ThroughMyEyes> <img width="19" height="19" title="(Y)" alt="(Y)" src="http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121110053650/legomessageboards/images/8/8a/ThumbsUp.png"> [09:48] <BusyCityGirl> No, no I think it fits there. Ties the first sentences together. [09:49] <ThroughMyEyes> Okay, yeah. I didn't know if it should go ahead and tie them together or just leave the whole paragraph alone as stylish mysterious type whatever and have the sort of realization in the next paragraph or not. [09:50] <BusyCityGirl> Right yeah. c: [09:50] <ThroughMyEyes> split second or split-second? [09:50] <ThroughMyEyes> <img width="19" height="19" title="o/" alt="o/" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/central/images/d/d9/Wave_emoticon.gif"> [09:51] <BusyCityGirl> Oh maybe add the word human. "The human body is curious". Knowing it was about cars, my mind waited till I finished the sentence to decide if you meant car bodies or not. :p [09:53] <BusyCityGirl> My guess is in your case you'd want split-second... but I think that one can depend [09:54] <ThroughMyEyes> Okay, yeah. That makes more sense. [09:54] <ThroughMyEyes> Mk, thanks [09:55] <BusyCityGirl> Though I'm not entirely sure on that one, and consistency throughout the paper is something to keep in mind as well [10:01] <ThroughMyEyes> On which one? [10:01] <BusyCityGirl> Wait, I think I know... if you're using it as a noun, it's split second. If you need it as an adjective, then split-second. ...I think xD [10:01] <BusyCityGirl> Quan <img width="19" height="19" title="o/" alt="o/" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/central/images/d/d9/Wave_emoticon.gif"> [10:01] <ThroughMyEyes> I think I'm going with the hyphen. <img width="19" height="19" title=":P" alt=":P" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110420112327/legomessageboards/images/4/47/Tongue_Smiley.gif"> [10:01] <ThroughMyEyes> <img width="19" height="19" title="o/" alt="o/" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/central/images/d/d9/Wave_emoticon.gif"> [10:02] <BusyCityGirl> "It happened in a split second" Vs "with split-second timing" [10:02] <BusyCityGirl> <img width="19" height="19" title=";p" alt=";p" src="http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121110002121/legomessageboards/images/7/77/Joking.png"> [10:04] <EveryOpenEye> grammar's dumb [10:05] <ThroughMyEyes> Hmm [10:05] <ThroughMyEyes> Then I guess it'd be no hyphen [10:12] <EveryOpenEye> what the hell who formed belgium in 1575 [10:12] <QuantumHedgehog> test [10:13] <ThroughMyEyes> isk [10:14] <QuantumHedgehog> belgium formed dolphins obviously [10:14] <QuantumHedgehog> *belgium [10:14] <ThroughMyEyes> *idk [10:14] <QuantumHedgehog> "belgium formed dolphins" [10:15] <BusyCityGirl> Peat, an idea, right before revealing you're talking about pungent exhaust, maybe add a 3vss. Somthing like "it burns the eyes. It chokes the throat. Yet it is sweet." [10:16] <BusyCityGirl> *something [10:16] <ThroughMyEyes> Oooooh [10:18] <EveryOpenEye> belgium formed dolphins [10:18] <EveryOpenEye> what is this riddle [10:18] <EveryOpenEye> hannah [10:18] <ThroughMyEyes> Huohannah <img width="19" height="19" title=":O" alt=":O" src="http://images.wikia.com/legomessageboards/images/f/fe/Suprised.png"> [10:18] <EveryOpenEye> woah [10:19] <ThroughMyEyes> woah [10:19] <QuantumHedgehog> if Belgium formed dolphins, why does Hannah = Life? [10:19] <EveryOpenEye> good question [10:20] <QuantumHedgehog> but what is the answer [10:22] <ThroughMyEyes> Huohana [10:22] <ThroughMyEyes> is the answer [10:22] <EveryOpenEye> houahnahh [10:25] <QuantumHedgehog> huohana is the one i've been missing? <img width="19" height="19" title="=O" alt="=O" src="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121110053506/legomessageboards/images/2/21/Surprised.png"> [10:25] <EveryOpenEye> absolutely