User blog:ItsCryptiid/100 Reasons Why Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Sucks

DISCLAIMER: This blog is not a parody, satire, or spoof of any kind. I do not mean to offend anyone, but if I do, I am sorry. I also am NOT telling you to force your opinion, if you do, you will look like an idiot, and it will give me the right to mock you in any city, town, village, state, province, district, country, nation, planet, galaxy, universe, multiverse, dimension, etc. Enjoy.

Alright, Modern Warfare 3 was a pretty good game. Despite the fact that I found many, many problems within the community and the game itself. I am about to do something that few people are brave enough to do. No, I don't mean telling you my celeb crush or anything. I am about to post my opinion. On the Internet. So, NSA, fasten your seatbelts, take a bathroom break, grab a snack, wash your hands, and get ready.

1: Quickscoping. Appearantly it's necessary for every sniper with half a brain to quickscope me. If you quickscope in the military, you won't be getting any promotions.

2: Claymores. Even with Stalker Pro, which delays movement-triggered explosives, these little guys still have an instant explosion.

3: Knifing. Glad to see knifing's been fixed. Oh wait, it hasn't.

4: Campers. Infinity Ward gives you decent sized maps, and what do you get? People crowding in a tiny shack.

5: Commando W/O Commando. If you don't know what I'm talking about, in MW2, there was a perk called "Commando", which allowed your knife lunge to reach farther, thus allowing panic knife noobs. They removed the perk in MW3, but that doesn't mean knife lunges aren't any shorter.

6: Random Lethals. PLEASE give me a fair warning before I'm blasted to shreds by a practically invsisible hand grenade and/or throwing knife.

7. Flashes. I must be getting blinded by my own TV screen every time I play Ground War.

8. Concussions. These suckers disorient you for a short amount of time and cause you to move like molasses flowing uphill.

9. The Barret .50 Cal. I'm not sure if the firing rate is modding or just downright terrible.

10. Tactical Insertions. they looks like those motion sensors from BF3. They're useless in SnD, obviously.

11. The community's unsual obsession with Search and Destroy. It sucks. One life per round? 4 rounds? 2 bombs to defend/plant? Nope.

12. Juggernauts. These armored behemoths (yes, that word still exists) can pack falcon punches. Seemingly overpowered guns are useless against them.

13. The Riot Shield. Okay, Infinity Ward, appearantly you can stab through plexiglass and titanium.

14. Smoke Grenades. What are the purpose of these? They mess up everyone's view unless you have thermal.

15. Heartbeat sensor. "A mini-UAV attached to your gun? Everyone will love it!" -Infinity Ward

16. Those stupid quotes when you die in the campaign. I get it, I died. You don't need to show me a famous war quote. Jeez.

17. Plot Twists. Soap dies. Oh, spoilers by the way.

18. The final mission. Killing Makarov in a super-dank style is kinda jumping the shark here...

19. Thermal Scopes. They blur your vision when you look into them, and why are they on snipers?

20. Noob Tubes. Also known as an underbarrel grenade launcher, these things are practically mini-RPGs.

21. Grenade Physics. Gravity and Trajectory EXIST, Infinity Ward.

22. Portable Radar. Also a mini-UAV.

23. Osprey Gunner. Select an area to drop off care packages while you take control of the terrible gun on the ship while your teammates steal your care packages.

24. Escort Airdrop. Kinda like Ospreys, except you don't control the gun. Still, they defend care packages HORRIBLY when hovering at a low altitude.

25. Obsructions. Where am I supposed to drop a care package in a map that's completely indoors?

26. Gun Camos. Oh cool, I can make my gun look different. Hurrah.

27. Clan tags. Oh, your clan tag is "POOP"? You must be SO mature.

28. Title/Emblem System. Black Ops did it best with customization.

29. CoD Elite. Terrible. Doesn't work at all. Kinda pointless, too.

30. Season Pass. Buy all the DLC's for a quarter of the price. Whoop-de-doo.

31. Hardened Edition. Really? It comes with more premium stuff? Awesome, oh wait, it costs $100.

32. Prestige Edition. Only a true no life will waste nearly $200 on this piece of junk.

33. The AH-6 Overwatch. A tiny little helicopter hovers above you while killing everything in it's supernaturally amazing eyesight.

34. Reaper. Oh for the love of Allah, you see a red dot and you pretty much have nowhere to run.

35. The AC-130. Why does everyone get excited when they earn this? It was a slow fire rate and it's not as godly as it seems.

36. The MK14. A single-fire gun that can overpower any machine gun.

37. The XM25. Wanna launch tons of grenades at people? Here, have the XM25.

38. M320 Grenade Launcher. The XM25's derpy cousin.

39. Javelin. Make it a sraight fire missile, I'm tired of waiting 5 hours just for this thing to return into the atmosphere.

40. Hybrid Sights. It took Infinity Ward 2 years to think of this. "Innovation".

41. No destructable environment. In BF3, you can take down entire buildings. In MW3, you can destroy endless amounts of... glass windows.

42. Exploding Cars. The explosion radius is ridiculous.

43. The I.M.S. This thing is practically a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

44. Hitmarkers. If you take a .50 cal bullet to the chest at point blank, you have to be dead.

45. The MP7. This thing can turn a man into bloody Swiss cheese.

46. The MP7 has super range.

47. The MP7 has a super rate of fire.

48. The MP7 has a super amount of accuracy.

49. The MP7 has ZERO recoil.

50. The MP7 has super ammo.

51. The Model 1887. Who knew a shotgun could shoot farther than a sniper?

52. The Striker. Like the Model 1887, this thing is a sniper except 10x as powerful and noobish.

53. The USAS. Also a super ranged shotgun.

54. The KSG is the only fair shotgun.

55. Supressors on a shotgun. It's kinda pointless and it weakens it insanely.

56. Trash Talkers. Appearantly their mothers never said "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all".

57. The community. Filled with 35-year-olds stuffing their faces with cottage cheese and 7-year-olds who can shatter glass with their voices.

58. Nerds. We get it, he hit a really good shot. No need to burst a blood vessel.

59. The ACR. It's powerful and accurate. What more could you ask for? OverPowered-ness.

60. The PP90. This thing fires so fast, it makes The Flash look like molasses flowing uphill.

61. Same graphics as MW2.

62. Same old engine.

63. No dedicated servers. STILL.

64. Terrible Physics. Appearantly your head with balance the rest of your body in mid-air.

65. Weird running animations. Thighs move when you run, Infinity Ward.

66. Bad maps. Carbon, Downturn, Dome, Terminal, Vortex, U-Turn, Intersection, Aground, and many more.

67. Sprinting. An elite military soldier can only sprint for 5 seconds. Nice one.

68. Extreme Conditions makes sprint laster longer. By 10 seconds.

69. Stalker Pro. Now you can move gracefully like a ballerina while aiming your gun.

70. Steady Aim. The #1 leading cause of spraying in noobs.

71. Assassin and Blind Eye. Why did you split up Ghost Pro?

72. Final Stand. Appearantly you can stay alive a little longer when you suck.

73. Dead Man's Hand. A massive blast radius can decimate anyone in a 100-ft area because someone sucked enough to earn a deathstreak.

74. Prestige Tokens. Terrible. The prestige shop has less selection than food at a 99 cent store.

75. 20 prestiges. Really, you can level up over 1,600 times? Let's congratulate people on total no lifing.

76. Dogs in Survival Mode. Since when can a dog take many, many .50 cal bullets?

77. Chaos Mode. Really, it's kinda bad that I have an army of people tryna kill me while I'm trying to maintain a SCOREstreak.

78. Easter Eggs. Overly convoluted, if you ask me. And pointless, too.

79. DLC Console Preference. We PlayStationers will forever suffer having to wait an extra month for terrible DLC that costs $20.

80. Joining a finished game. It's annoying and it happens all the time. Get it together.

81. Matchmaking. I end up waiting 30 mintues to join a game that's already finished with either crushing victory or agonizing defeat.

82. The Assault Drone. Practically a mini-tank.

83. The Recon Drone. Getting tagged and disoriented for approximately 0.000000000000000000017 seconds is really annoying.

84. Specialist. Get extra perks for getting a small amount of kills. Genius.

85. The M.O.A.B. It only kills 6  (or 9 people if you're playing Ground War) on the map, and the EMP effect lasts only one minute.

86. EMPs. One minute of wandering confusion and agonizing death.

87. EMP Grenades. Hate EMPs? How about having them being thrown at you?

88. Spawn Rushing. On Dome, Search and Destroy games can be very short depending on the campy-ness of the enemy who already have control over the entire map withing 5 seconds.

89. Spawn Killing. Really, Infinity Ward?

90. Spawns. If I see me kill you in my own killcam, something's wrong.

91. Joining a game on Survival Mode. It's fun, I don't understand why nobody plays it online.

92. Spec-Ops. Extra missions for virtual throphies. Thrilling.

93. Intel. Find these suitcases hidden extremely well on campaign missions, and you get a trophy or two. Mesmerizing.

94. Sniping Clans. Oh cool, you can quickscope. Not impressive, really.

95. Sniping Clan Fanboys. Oh your in FaZe? Can I have your autograph? Not.

96. S.A.M. Turret. Fear me, helicopters, UAVs, Reapers, Ospreys, etc.

97. C4. These things have the blast radius of miniature pocket-sized nukes.

97.5. Speaking of pocket-sized. Is anyone else annoyed and confused as to why pocket-sized dictionaries don't fit in your pocket?

98. Davis Family Vacation Mission. You pretty much control a father with a video camera as you record your daughter who is excited to see the sights of London. All of the sudden, CHEMICAL ATTACK!

99. Fanboys. We get it, you like the game. No need to hate on people who don't while you worship the Call of Duty franchise.

100. Infinity Ward. None of these reasons would exist if this company never made these majorly annoying and terrible flaws. Thanks for screwing up, Infinity Ward.

Coming soon...

100 Reasons Why Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2 Sucks

Brace yourselves.