User blog:Aravis Tarkheena/LMBWFF Part 14

I have no time for a not here, just to tell you to comment. YOU MUST. No time to correct anything either or format it right; I'll do it later. Now read.

PART 14

“How do you know who Marus is?” Guacamilla asked, suddenly slightly suspicious.

The other girl sighed, wiping her palms on her jeans. “It’s not like you’re going to believe what I tell you…” She trailed off in a slightly bitter tone.

“Trust me, I can believe almost anything now, and I think I know anyway,” Guacamilla prodded.

“If you’re sure…” She leaned back against the car and tilted her head to look up at the now-black sky. “I’m actually a boy from the future, about 30 years from now. I first knew Marus from a website I visit (oh, a website’s something on a computer) rather often. Then-” she glanced back at Guacamilla- “one day I was ‘magically’ turned into a girl and transported back to here, where I ran into a few friends from said website, who were also gender-swapped. One of them found a note that leads us to believe Marus is at fault.”

“It’s the LMB Wiki, correct?” Guacamilla didn’t wait for an answer she already knew. “And Marus made death threats, right? What’s your username, anyway?”

“Marcel. It’s the same as my real name, but the others have taken to calling me Marcia. You’re obviously one of us… who were you?”

“Guac. Though currently known as Guacamilla.”

“Oh! So we finally meet,” Marcia said with a lopsided grin. “Although in the wrong town and way too long ago.” She rolled her eyes, a gesture Guacamilla didn’t see in the dark.

“Who’s with you, Marcy, and where are they?” Guacamilla asked suddenly, after a short silence that threatened to get uncomfortable.

“Uh… Terry, Skull, and Caysie. Gender-swapped and with new names, though.”

“That’s nice, you’ve got all your friends,” Guacamilla said drily. “I ran into Satl and Han. Dr. Sadie and Hal Solo now, of course. Hal is… decent, but don’t get me /started/ on Sadie.” She paused for a moment. “Where are the others?” she asked again.

“Back… in town.” She gestured vaguely toward the glow of lights in the distance. “We spread out to take a look around. I should be getting back soon.” Another short pause. “And what were /you/ doing speeding down an empty road in a strange car, without the headlights on?”

Guacamilla flushed, then smiled wickedly. “I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt either—but only because there wasn’t one. Let’s just say I needed the fuel, then got carried away. We came across RepComCustoms (Repcomma, as a girl) - she was stabbed several times in the back. Trust me, we were only planning to burn the body.”

“Sadie and Hal are in town?”

“Yeah. I hated to leave them to their incompetent selves, but I also had to get away,” Guacamilla said, defiance slightly tingeing her voice.

“And there is any connection between your theft and the fact that this is the car you always wanted?” Marcia asked, with another careful look at her companion.

Guacamilla was silent for a moment, then laughed faintly. “Of course. If it was any other car, I’d never have looked twice.”

“You’re acting so different as a girl. You do know that, right?” asked Marcia, slightly amused.

The other girl shrugged and looked at the ground. “I can’t really help it. You aren’t too different yourself, though, Marcy, she added a trifle more snarkily than necessary.

“My gosh… neither is Terri. She always forgets she’s a girl, so she keeps hitting on Skulla. It’s so creepy,” Marcia said with a stifled laugh and a shake of her head. “Terri pretty cute herself, though…”

“Shut /up/,” Guacamilla groaned, slapping her hands over her ears. “In this worls, you’re both girls, and in real life you’re both guys. As far as I know, you’re both straight, so /cut it out/.”

“What are your plans for after you get back to Hal and Sadie?” Marcia asked, compliantly changing the subject.

“We’ll burn the body. Get away. Find… something to do. I don’t know if we can get out of here, but I’m certainly going to try.”

“And if you can?”

“I’ll shoot myself in desperation, self-pity, and fear of Dr. Sadie,” Guacamilla answered promptly.

Marcia nodded. “Sounds like a plan. You’re headed back to them now, right?”

Guacamilla replied, “Yup. If you want a drive back to your group I can take you there, though.” After a second thought, she added, “If you trust my driving.”

“Like I said before, if you kill me, at least Marus won’t have the satisfaction of doing it himself,” Marcia jabbed.

The younger girl sniffed. “You’re just jealous that I drive with style and personality.”

“Whatever, just don’t hit any innocent pedestrians. I’m pretty sure I know the way back.”

INSERT CHAPTER BREAK HERE

Marcia did indeed know her way back, and successfully led her company on a raid through the trenches to the enemy’s base, which the promptly razed to the ground, and then led the way back home through more trenches and minefields, while under constant heavy fire that only killed 5 and 1-fourth of her men.

And after that delightful, inspiring tale of falsities, we return to Guacamilla.

After returning Marcia to her friends, deciding to meet up again the next day, and eliciting a promise from them to bring paint, Guacamilla went back to the alley to find Hal and Sadie. Sufficiently satisfied with their work, she quickly filled them in on her accomplishments. Sadie looked ready to protest at the illegal activities surrounding the theft of the car, but was caught and silenced by glares from both Guacamilla and Hal, so she bit her tongue and merely said, “A car that seats two seems a mite impractical.”

“DeLoreans aren’t /meant/ to be practical. They’re supposed to be /cool/,” Guacamilla snapped, slightly annoyed. Hal nodded vigorously in agreement.

“I was just meaning to say you could have better taste in car theft,” Sadie defended herself.

She was ignored by the others, who had started to fumble around in the dark, trying to siphon some gasoline out of the tank. She stomped over to the other end of the alley to leave them to themselves.

“You do it,” she heard one of them insist.

“I already did most of the work; you start it,” the other complained.

“I don’t know /how/,” the first one snapped.

A sigh. “Just suck on this end of the tube to start the flow of petrol, then drop the end in the jerry-can.”

“That’s /gross/.”

“Just don’t get any in your mouth.”

“I’m not doing it,” the first voice insisted.

Another sigh. “Girls… I’ll do it.”

“But I’m not a girl…” The voice died to silence. There were a few unidentifiable sounds, some more silence, then a shrieked expletive, some violent spitting noises, and then frenzied coughing. “It burnssssss,” the voice rasped, between coughs.

“Did you get some in your mouth?” The other voice asked innocently.

“Hal. I swallowed some, you dirty little… uh, ape,” Guacamilla growled.

“At least you dropped the end in the can,” Hal continued brightly.

“Go away and die,” Guacamilla said crossly, adjusting the can.

“At least you could burn me up with Rep,” Hal called back, his voice more distant. “Saide, come help me make a final check.”

Sadie complied, and a few minutes later, Guacamilla joined them, starting to pour on the gasoline. “Any of you got a lighter?” she asked. “I should have thought of that earlier.”

“I’ve got a book of matches,” Sadie volunteered, like any good pyromaniac.

“Good. Then light it, please,” Guacamilla said with a nod of her head.

“We’re doing this so wrong,” Hal muttered to Guacamilla. They were standing at the end of the alleyway, watching the shadowy figure of Sadie circle the pyre, occasionally dropping a lighted match on, which would land delicately, holding a tiny flame that crept outward until it hit somewhere doused with gasoline, then there would be a bright and sudden flare, and Sadie would shy away.

“We don’t have any way to stop the fire if it gets out of control,” Hal went on.

“Then go get a bucket of water if you care,” Guacamilla said steadily. “I, for one, could let the whole town burn down before I give a brick.”

“Very well, then,” Hal said, and they stood in silence until Sadie joined them.

“There’s something /wrong/ with that fire, Guac. Are you sure that what you poured on was gasoline?” she asked.

“It tasted like it,” Guacamilla said sourly.

“But… the flames are green,” Hal pointed out. Indeed they were. “You did leave some fuel in the car, right?” he asked suddenly.

“Yeah. We’ll need it later.” A short pause. “I really don’t like the look of that fire.”

“You said it didn’t matter if it destroys the town,” Hal repeated.

“I think we’ll care if it explodes and kills us,” Guacamilla glowered.

“That’s not going to happen,” Sadie stated emphatically.

And that’s when the green fire exploded and killed them.

Actually, it didn’t kill them. While the pyre was instantly incinerated, the blast merely blew Sadie across the alley, knocked Hal to the ground a few metres away, and Guacamilla stumbled back a step.

“See, it didn’t happen,” Sadie said, picking herself up. “Well, at least I’m not killed. I don’t know about you two.”

“There’s something still there,” Hal noted from where he lay sprawled on the asphalt.

Guacamilla dragged a sleeve across her eyes and looked. There was a small something still there, with a few green flames licking around it. Everything else, including Repcomma, had been vapourised.

“Sweet golden and fluffy apes with blue faces,” Guacamilla whispered. “It’s a hat.”