User blog:Riolu777/NOVAK LOST D: D: D:

LIFE IS A MEANINGLESS CAULDRON OF WOE. AS THE ESSENCE OF MISERY SWIRLS IN A STEAMING VORTEX OF PAIN AND SADNESS, I WEEP AT *squints* 5:32 AM IN THE MORNING. DON'T GROW UP TO BE LIKE ME, KIDS. ASPIRE FOR SOMETHING MORE IN LIFE THAN HAVING YOUR EMOTIONS INTRINSICALLY LINKED TO AN ATHLETE YOU'LL FORGET ABOUT IN 40 YEARS. I INTENTIONALLY AND HABITUALLLY ABSTAIN FROM MEANINGFUL SLEEP TO PURSUE THE VIEWING OF A THREE-SECOND-DELAYED TELECAST OF A QUARTERFINAL MATCH OF A SLIGHTLY VARIED BUT QUARTERLY REPEATED SPORTING EVENT SO I CAN WORTHLESSLY ROOT FOR A SLAVIC MIDDLE-AGED MAN IN LIEU OF AN ARGENTINIAN MIDDLE-AGED MAN SO I CAN WATCH SAID SLAVIC MIDDLE-AGED MAN LOSE IN AN AFFAIR HE SHOULD'VE CONQUERED BUT INSTEAD LOST TO SOME RANDOM AND ABSURDLY LUCKY BLOKE WITH NO ACCLAIM ASIDE FROM CONFLATED ADVOCATIONS FROM THE BRITISH OR POSSIBLY AUSTRALIAN COMMENTATORS WHO HAVE BEEN OBVIOUSLY PAID IN ADVANCE TO FURTHER THE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED UNDERDOG'S EXCEEDINGLY AND STUPIDLY SMALL CHANCES OF VICTORY SO AS TO CRUSH THE HEART OF THE TEENAGED BOY AS HE STARES IN DEFEAT AT HIS GLOWING TELEVISION SCREEN ON HIS BASEMENT COUCH SO HE CAN RANT IN AN ALL-CAPS DIATRIBE TO ADOLESCENT STRANGERS THAT HE HAS NO RELATIONS ASIDE FROM GUSHING ABOUT THE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED FOREIGN, MIDDLE-AGED MEN TO THEM SO AS TO INFLATE HIS DWINDLING SELF-ESTEEM SO AS TO RELY ON THE RESERVES OF SELF WORTH THAT CLUTCH AT THE LOWER PORTION OF HIS SPIRIT THAT ARE CRUELLY SQUASHED WHEN THE UPSTART OPPONENT PULLS THE LUCKIEST UPSET IN HISTORY AGAINST ALL ODDS AND DEFYING NATURE AS WE KNOW IT.

SO AS I TRAVERSE THE MEANDERING PATHWAY TO RECLAIMED HAPPINESS, LOOK UPON ME IN SHAME AS MY MOOD REFLECTS THE VAST VOID OF NEBULOUS DEPRESSION BURSTING FORTH FROM MY DISPROPORTIONATE PERSPECTIVE ATTACHED TO MY ACHING SOUL.

DON'T BE LIKE ME, KIDS. DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR COMPARITIVELY LESS MISERABLE WIKI-PERUSING LIVES.