User blog:TwistedAlpha/Metrics

8:55 InvisibleHunter Well Gogg Did you know what I did to deserve that? 8:55 Goggles99 Nope? 8:55 InvisibleHunter I ran 2km and then I played football with my classmates By football I mean soccer if anybody is that Americanized 8:56 Goggles99 You measure in KM? GOOD MAN 8:56 TwistedAlpha ^^^ although km would be standard for most everywhere except scrub hipster america 8:58 InvisibleHunter ikr 8:59 TwistedAlpha y'know what i'm going to do? i'm going to have an american child and raise them to despise imperial measurements i will make sure they worship the metric system and immediately hate anyone who supports imperial units and then i will train them as the ultimate politician they will rise through the ranks and eventually become president where they will abolish the imperial system forever and kill anyone who disagrees and plunge america into an era of fear the national religion is metricism citizens are referred to as metrics all mentions of imperial units are changed to "heretic units" all the while they are improving the standards of living relations with other countries getting rid of national debt eventually world peace is brought about through america's metricism then slowly the world begins to succumb to the flawless political power of the american metric (the word empire is replaced by metric) and soon canada is part of the metric then all of europe asia even russia australia and oceania 9:04 Goggles99 Can we blow up middle east? 9:04 TwistedAlpha south america africa and yes, the middle east just gets nuked because why not so then the metric leader becomes world leader and enslaves the other countries ensuring them it's part of the metric god's plan and the world is renamed "metric" the moon is "lesser metric" the solar system is the local metric the galaxy is the metric way the universe is the metricverse and eventually all language is dissolved the only language is spoken in metric units, "km m cm nm?" the world begins to forget there was ever anything else but the great metric existence our technological advancement quickens we set up colonies on the moon, mars we find life on europa during a manned mission they join the glorious metric metric we are now a multispecies alliance no species through the galaxy can ignore our amazing flawless system they all succumb to the power we finally control all of the metric way galaxy we inhabit everywhere that can be inhabited our faster than light technology becomes better we travel to the andromeda galaxy take over all life there too people begin to forget about our puny existence back on "earth," without peace we control the universe, eventually harness black holes to generate infinite power we soon are spread throughout the multiverse the metric system soon does not even have a name it is simply our existence; it cannot be represented we can travel anywhere, freely, for we are the ultimate power our society is deeply entrenched in reality so much that it is finely spread through the universe all the while, i sit back and cackle, long ago having achieved immortality via the glorious metricity soon we begin to call our glorious multispecies alliance the combine due to its combination of species and existences one day we realize we are spread too thin we start to reinforce metricism and the metric law in the multiverse we head back to the first universe the metric way the metric homeworld and we find gordon freeman and half-life ensues and that is why half-life 3 is not confirmed it is coming. soon. when the child takes over america. and create the great metric alliance. -fin-