User blog:Ihaveawiixboxds/четырнадцать

That night, Ihawxd met with two men at the entrance to the castle. The one on the right was extremely tall, towering over both Ihawxd and the man next to him. He had slick black hair, down to just below his chin, accompanied by an ever-present grim facial expression. He was wearing a red cape, and a chain mail shirt over some brown clothes. He carried a sword on his belt, but held two lit torches in his hands. The man on Ihawxd's left was much shorter. He was extremely muscular, or at least was trying to make himself look as muscular and manly as he possibly could. He had spiked blonde hair and was leaning on a large, double bladed axe. The two men were conversing about something, but stopped their conversation when they saw Ihawxd. The man on the right spoke first.

"I suppose you're the newcomer. I'm Boyo."

"And I'm Stephen." the man on the left added. "Spelled with a PH."

"We'll be your tour guides for tonight."

"Wait, so your name is Phteven?" Ihawxd asked Stephen.

"Very funny." Stephen remarked sarcastically.

An awkward period of silence where the three men stood around exchanging slight glances at each other. Boyo broke it.

"Well, we don't have all night. We better get going."

The other two concurred, so the three exited the castle. Waiting for them outside was a large wooden cart, filled with hay and attached to three horses. Stephen grabbed the reins of the frontmost horse and pulled it across the stone bridge. The two other horses and the two other humans both followed and consequently crossed the same bridge. Stephen led the party to right into a large field, flanked by two even larger forests. Once they had gone far enough that the bridge was no longer visible (a rather short distance due to the decreased visibility of the night), Boyo made a mysterious suggestion to Stephen.

"I think it's safe to tell him now."

"The last person to come across that bridge in the nighttime was viciously mutilated." Stephen turned and smiled at Ihawxd. Ihawxd hesitantly asked for an explanation and was given an uncomfortably vague one from Boyo. "We have a bit of an animal control problem right now."

There was a howl off in the far distance, as if to clarify Boyo's explanation.

"Well, if you can get if you can get disembodied just by taking a short walk at night, why are we going so far away from the castle?" Ihawxd nervously asked.

"Because it'll be way more fun this way." Stephen answered. He continued to lead the horse further and further out into the field, despite numerous howls, constantly getting louder. Finally, Stephen stopped.

"I think I see some in the distance there." Boyo commented.

"Yeah, me too. Took them long enough." Stephen hurriedly turned the horses to face the direction from which they had come and snatched the two torches from Boyo. He tossed one into the back of the cart filled to the brim with dried grass and handed the other to Ihawxd.

"Get on the horse in the front there." Boyo ordered.

"What are you doing?" Ihawxd yelled as Stephen and Boyo nonchalantly mounted the tow rear horses.

"The fire will keep the wolves away and speed up the horses." Boyo explained. "Now get on the horse in the front there before we literally leave you to the wolves."

Ihawxd soon found himself attempting to leap onto a reckless horse as it bolted away from the roaring inferno attached to its back. While still trying to gain his balance, Ihawxd glanced over his right shoulder. Through the ecstatic flames he could see intent looks of ferocity on the drooling faces of the rapidly advancing wolves. Despite the motivation provided by the flames, the horses could not escape the rush of wolves. Ihawxd soon had to employ the use of his torch. He swung it wildly from side to side, knocking down ravenous mouths as they leapt up, snapping wildly. The horses sharply turned onto the bridge. The burning cart swung around, pulverizing a few unfortunate wolves. Boyo and Stephen raised their weapons in unity as the group approached the castle's gate.

The weapons fell. The gate fell.

Ihawxd fell off of his horse and straight onto his back.

Groaning and moaning, he got up. Stephen and Boyo had successfully disconnected the cart from the horses. The horses now ran wildly, terrified to go anywhere near the gate. Stephen had also fell clumsily and was lying on his front, but Boyo had apparently landed gracefully and was standing upright, seemingly unharmed.

"So there's nothing you can do about them?" Ihawxd asked in between breaths.

"I'm afraid not."

"You can't just send a bunch of heavily armored knights or something?"

"We barely have any metal resources here. Only the most elite of the super elite knights have the privilege of any sort of armor whatsoever." Boyo explained. "I happen one of those, though."

"Do you think I care?"

"No, but I kinda like bragging." At this point Stephen stood up and brushed himself off. He tried to appear as unaffected by the recent events as possible, but ended up losing his balance and catching himself against a nearby wall.

"Armor's for wimps." he added once he had regained stability.

"I recommend pretending Stephen doesn't exist when he goes on about his crazy notions. He has a lot of them." Boyo suggested.

"Like what?"

"Well, he thinks that women should spend their whole lives cooking, cleaning or sewing."

"Objection!" Stephen objected. "That is in no way, shape or form a crazy notion!"

"I actually heard about you." Ihawxd thought aloud. "The princess doesn't seem to agree with you. She could have you beheaded or something when she becomes a queen."

"Yes, and that brings up a major problem with our current system. A woman should never be able to hold that much power! They let emotions get in the way of rational thinking. As a result, they can never make responsible decisions. The evidence is presented thus, and therefore queens should not exist!"

Ihawxd simply began walking away. Boyo countered with some sort of argument, but Ihawxd ignored it and continued onward. The voices eventually faded away into the darkness, leaving Ihawxd and his imagination alone for the night.