User blog comment:Coggsworth Motors/The newiest and yeariest New Year of them all/@comment-4918842-20130107025336

1. Eat a jellyfish.

2. Jump into a hole and get scared by bats so I can become Batman.

3. Miraculously survive a radioactive spider bite and become SpiderBatman.

4. Shoot somebody on a stairway with a pistol while falling.

5. Get cut in half and roll into lava in order to become Darth SpiderBatman

6. Save people's lives and then force choke them to death, because I'm Darth SpiderBatman

7. Invent the darkbulb.

8. Climb some things.

9. Jump off of stuff.

10. Burn carbs in my sleep.

11. Walk away from an explosion with a blank, emotionless face.

12. Befriend a taxedermied bear, name it something punny, and offer it food all the time.

13. Jump off a building and glide around, 'cause I'm Darth SpiderBatman.

14. Get a pet panther and name it Pu.

15.  Punch at  the leaves of an oak tree until I get an apple.

16. Stick my head under a soda fountan at Mcdonald's and drink from it in front of the staff.

17. Become a stop sign with a wizard hat that is also Darth SpiderBatman.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!