User blog comment:Rchie743/A Camping Tale/@comment-5462317-20130722142842

This is me, confirming.

Part 1 errors:

"was refusing to turn the air conditioning on"  - sentence ended in a preposition, same error in the next sentence

"back onto the one-sided conversation" - just "to", dear

Part 2:

"careening down the path WHILE smiling wickedly"

Part 3:

"Krom's many rad white, and blue glow-sticks" - rad or red, pick one and stick with it

"the traffic was way TOO loud"

"her son who was in her twenties" - this one should be obvious

Overall the voicing is spectacular, and the characterization is great, too. Sherm, stop whining, this is how you act. Other than the errors I have pointed out above, your grammar, syntax, and vocabulary are great; although, a few cliché phrases did make me cringe a bit, I was proud of you for the use of "freckled" in "Day 1". (Don't ask - just a personal quirk)