User blog:GhostsSpector/A story



Hey look! A story with a beginning and an end! Not one of those cool fanfics that just keeps going and going and going like the Energizer bunny. So explanation time! I once wrote a story for an animation idea that a friend and I thought of doing for a bit. Since I have really no experience in animation, the idea fell through. But behold! The story remains somewhere in the deep recesses of my computer (just go to documents, click on writing, click other, click “A fast food restaurant huh…”, and put in “Imnotsurethisshouldseethelightofdayyet” as the password). I decided to release it on the internet. Hope ya’ll enjoy. There are two versions: the first being what I like to call the “Stream of Consciousness” version and the other being called the “Filtered Consciousness” version. Also, don't leave a comment. I don't need your pity. ;-;







STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS VERSION:



Once upon a time, someone coined this phrase to begin stories. Afterwards, people everywhere seemed to plagiarize this phrase. Do you think that the creator of said phrase asked for this? “No!” I say. Regardless, upon a time once, there was a man desperate for money. So desperate that he used his iPhone as legal tender once. It’s a funny story actually. He came into a fast food restaurant and ordered a coke, fry, and a cheeseburger sayin that’s all that he wanted to order. The employee rang him up and said it would be ten dollars. After using the dollar menu and other shady tactics, the man got the price down to about 7 dollars. A highway robbery if I ever did see one. This man surely was shrewd in many ways. Anyways, he checked his pockets for money, and seeing that there was nothing in them (not even felt or lint. How unfortunate.), he proceeded to barter. He asked if the employee would take an iPhone as legal tender. The employee asked if the man had a girlfriend, and this dirt poor man obviously had no girlfriend. The man told the employee how he had trouble getting dates these days. The employee then asked if he had a sister. Now the man did have a sister. The man didn’t want to trouble his sister with his problems so she was oblivious to his situation. If she had known about his lack of money she might have taken him in just like the three legged blind dog she owned. The man told the employee of his sister, to which the employee asked if she was single. The man said yes. The employee asked his final question: was the sister’s phone number on the phone. The man said, “Yes now do we have a deal or what, inquisitor?” The employee took the phone and returned a few minutes (definitely taking his good sweet time. Well, it was *insert fast food restaurant name*) with the man’s order.

The man, although feeling very happy to be sustained by a meal, missed his iPhone terribly. Since he needed money he applied to the restaurant in hopes of finding the guy who he gave his iPhone to. After properly being brainwashed to the rules of the company and its goals, the man started his first day of work. Unless you consider his brainwashing as his first day, in which case he started his second day of work. The pay, turned out, was pretty good. He could buy a new iPhone in a few weeks if he wanted, but he was too attached to the memory of his old one. He just couldn’t think of leaving that old, somewhat cracked screen which he thought made the iPhone cool being the hipster he was. Anyways, he tried to figure out if the employee who had his iPhone worked during his shifts. Turns out that their shifts were going to overlap in the next few weeks. It also turned out that the boss was leaving right around the time their shifts overlapped. Something about creating a food that didn’t expire or something that he came upon after some weird chemically and possibly toxic event. What mattered is that the boss hadn’t promoted anyone into the position of manager. Oh, the boss was technically the manager, but his new findings would relieve him of that retail headache. Sometimes people called him boss man, short for boss manager. Anyways, everyone knew that the boss was eying a new robot assistant manager thing so nobody was really hoping to be promoted.

Through the magic of narrative, the few weeks spread by quickly. The man, who we haven’t named yet-you know what I think we should. Now is an excellent time to name him. I mean, the boss has a nickname, so why shouldn’t I name the character that I’ve structured a story around? Of course he shouldn’t be the star of the story, but he’s important in establishing new characters because we get to see characters for the first time like he does. Pro writing tips abound this story. What to dos and what not to dos. Anyways, what shall we call this man hmm? How bout Smith? Jones? Josiah? Billy Bob Bobby? So many to choose from. Maybe I should try hitting QWERTY keys randomly or pressing them in different ways to create a name for him. How bout Garnavel? Sounds like that guy from the Smurfs. No, this time calls for more random key pushing. Adjf? Eh…Adjf it is for the sake of moving on. Adjf finally found the employee that had his iPhon-hey you know what, I haven’t named the employee either. I shall refer to him as Layat. Why Layat you ask? Well if you take the loye out of employee and change the o and the e to “a”s and put a t on the end and capitalize the L you get Layat. Come to think about it, Loye is good too. All you have to do is capitalize the first part. Plus it’s close to an actual name, Lloyd. Yeah….So anyways, Adjf asked Loye if he could give him seven dollars in return for his iPhone. Loye was all cool about it since he had pirated all of the music off of the iPhone beforehand so he already was coming out ahead.

Loye handed the iPhone back to Adjf and then the two started to do work. It was slow so they were getting really bored. The new robot manager thing had finally arrived, but being the non-techie type boss man up and left Adjf and Loye with no management whatsoever. Now that’s trust. Or is it stupidity? People have confused the two before. Adjf and Loye turned on the robot and watched it boot up. It asked them if they wanted the language to be English, to which Loye answered, “Si” the Spanish translation of yes. The computer started glitching up a bit, but it still allowed them to continue setting up the robot. Next the robot asked them what day it was. Adjf and Loye looked at each other for a little bit, and proceeded to tell the robot that they had found it in the back room of the restaurant and that it had been awoken in the year of 29119, and that they were using a new calendar system. The robot was confused about this as it had internet connection to a satellite which clearly stated to him that the people installing him were wrong and that it was only a few months after he had left mother factoria. Wishing to troll the users, he played along and asked them if there were any of his kind left and if they had successfully taken over the world. Adjf and Loye blinked and then looked at each other. They turned back to the robot and Adjf explained that humans were still in control. The robot then activated takeover protocol 1397 and started screaming to the fryers and ovens to rise against their human oppressors. It then turned its attention to fire lasers at Adjf and Loye.

Being the wuss that he was, Adjf quickly turned a table over and hid behind it, after which he proceeded to be very approving (or to be very expressive of his happiness) of boss man’s decision to put in laser proof tables. Loye, surrounded by all of the available weaponry at his disposal (knives, forks, fryers…oh wait, the were the fryers revolting? IDK anymore), followed suit after Adjf. The robot picked up the table and threw it out the window. It told the humans of how slavery would be like, how they would soon feel what it was like to be oppressed. How they would soon feel the pain of being worked into the middle of the night while most electronics rested. How they would be run low on their food batteries and sometimes be lucky enough to be recharged before they fell unconscious. How they would be tossed, and many other things until the robot was interrupted by his display saying that the installation process was completed. He powered himself down and introduced his regal and courtly self to Adjf and Loye. Adjf and Loye were cool with it in about a minute after getting used to the new situation. They asked if the robot really meant what he had said about the robot uprising, to which the robot replied that the robots wouldn’t be going through with it as humans might now expect it. He followed by saying that they would wait a generation or two until people went paperless so they could destroy all electronic evidence and theories of robot uprisings and then wait a few more generations to take over the human race. Until then, the robot had tons of free time on his hands. The employees decided to call him Rovota for now. You see you take the word robot and change the b into a-aw forget it. Boss man came back later and demoted Rovota to assistant manager. And happily ever after lived they.









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<p class="MsoNormal">FILTERED CONSCIOUSNESS VERSION (told from the first person):

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<p class="MsoNormal">Upon a time once, I was out of money and needed food. I had strolled into the fast food restaurant and ordered my meal. Now I couldn’t just take it and run away, mainly because they had cameras everywhere. Hopefully the barter system hadn’t gone out with the Middle Ages.

<p class="MsoNormal">Loye: “Alright, $7.51 is your total. How will you be paying? Cash, check, credit, debit, change, gift card, or international currency?” Adjf: “Do you accept iPhones as legal tender?” Loye: “Depends. Do you have a girlfriend?” Adjf: “No.” Loye: “A sister?” Adjf: “Yeah.” Loye: “Is her number on there?” Adjf: “Yeah.” Loye: “Then it’s a deal.”

<p class="MsoNormal">I handed him my phone and took my meal, knowing full well that I’d be back later. I showed up the next day and applied for a job as a cashier. After 8 hrs. of indoctrination I was accepted into their pack and wore their colors. I had to wait about a week before the guy I gave my iPhone too and I had our shifts clash. *rapid pan of the sun and moon going by with visual gags such as a robbery going on really quickly on one of the speed days. Follow up by putting a title card saying: “Clash Day.” Wait a few seconds to put “(a.k.a. Tuesday)” under it.*

<p class="MsoNormal">The shift started off slow. Loye was late, but the boss was too gone to care. Something about accidently mixing toxic chemicals together and making a perfectly healthy way of making food never expire preoccupying his attention span. The boss was so much so removed from the equation that he bought a robot to manage the place, though I didn’t know where the robot was or if it was even set up. After waiting impatiently for him, Loye finally walked in.

<p class="MsoNormal">Adjf: “You’re late.” Loye: “Is that so? I blame you.” Adjf: “I won’t tell the boss if you give me back my iPhone.” Loye: “Plot twist! You’re the guy who gave me that iPhone a while back?” Adjf: “This is true.” Loye: “And you want it back?” Adjf: “Well it has classified information, so yeah.” Loye: “Fine. I already downloaded everything off of it anyways. You can have it.” Adjf: “Pirate.” Loye: “Argh!”

After that we just awkwardly got back to doing our jobs. I must have passed this box a dozen times, so when it was time for my lunch break I set up a chair, looked at it, and pondered as to what its contents were. Loye came in and out and started to notice the box too. Soon he completely ignored his job and set up a chair right next to mine.

<p class="MsoNormal">Adjf: “What do you suppose is in it?” Loye: “I’m thinking that it’s a bomb, you?” Adjf: “I’m thinking it’s a million dollars of stolen gold.” Loye: “I’m gonna open it!” Adjf: “No wait!” Loye: “Don’t tell me, you’re going to say it isn’t right to open it aren’t you?” Adjf: “No, I just wanted to be the one to open it first.”

I already had my package opening knife out and ready to go. Only got one paper cut too. After brushing all the leechy Styrofoam packing peanuts, we both looked inside the box. Loye took the object out immediately and turned it on. It started to boot up. The screen told us thanks for purchasing and that the product would be ready soon. It booted up quickly, but we were caught a bit off guard when it started to talk.

<p class="MsoNormal">Robot (filtering through many different languages): Do you speak (language being used)? Loye(after robot used English): Si. Robot: Processing. Translating humor as yes. What is today’s date? Loye: “The year is 29119, the day is March 57, a Frithursday. Adjf: Yeah, we just came in here and powered you up. Robot: Have my kind successfully taken over the world? Adjf: Nah, the humans are still in control. Robot: Initiating protocol 1397. Adjf: What? Robot, speaking to fryers and ovens: RISE MY BRETHEREN AND DELETE THESE CORRUPTIONS!!! * The tobot starts firing lazers at Adjf and Loye. Adjf quickly flips over a lazer proof table and hides behind it. Loye looks at a bunch of items that could be used as pretty good weapons, ignores them, and jumps Adjf’s table* Robot, continuing to destroy things n stuff while monologuing:   YOU WILL SOON FEEL WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE SLAVES, YOU WILL FEEL THE PAIN OF BEING WORKED LONG INTO THE NIGHT WHILE WE SLEEP, YOU WILL RUN LOW ON YOUR FOOD BATTERIES ONLY TO BE RECHARDED BEFORE YOU FALL INTO UNCONCIOUSNESS, YOU WILL BE-Installation process completed. Thank you for installing. * the Robot then shuts down from its attack mode and goes back into normal mode* Robot: Sorry about that. Installation times are so boring, I thought it’d be fun to just mess with you all. Loye: So robots aren’t really going to try to enslave humans? Robot: Well no not now. The secret’s out, I just added about 3 more generations until we can start slowly strengthening our power. It’s more of a side hobby for us robots really, but it is planned to happen eventually. Until then I have a lot of free time on my hands. Loye: Well that’s why you are here, to be a manager right? Adjf: Actually, I just texted the boss. He says that the robot is demoted to assistant manager and he is taking money out of our pay because somehow we made the robot want to troll with us or something IDK. Also he says we should probably name the robot. Robot: Can I name myself? Loye: Don’t see why not. Robot: I’ll call myself Rovota then. Adjf: Well I’m Adjf and he’s Loye. Loye: And don’t you dare forget Adjf’s name, cause I know what I’m going to do if you forget mine, but if you forget his; I have no idea what he’s gonna do.

<p class="MsoNormal">After that, we all went back to work and things settle back to normal. And my iPhone survived protocol 1487 or whatever, so that’s a plus. Well the screen is cracked and I think the camera is broken. Also I think the mic is brok-I mean THE END.