User blog:Ihaveawiixboxds/один

It was a rather gloomy day. The sun was completing its long and tiresome journey across the sky by painting the horizon with a reddish orange hue. The bright hue fell upon many wooden huts contained in a certain large village, and into one of those huts was walking a young man. Inside this hut was a golden throne, and seated on that throne was the ruler of not only that village, but of many the neighboring villages, too: Benboy.

"Who are you, and what business do you have with me?" the king asked the young man once he entered. The man avoided the question entirely.

"My name is Kat, and I come from a very distant kingdom. One I'm sure you know... Very well." Here Kat paused and grinned. "But, I do not wish to threaten you, I am here for... Other reasons."

"And those reasons would be?"

"Rebuking you for not having a proper living space, obviously. I mean, look at you! You're living like a peasant! What are you doing on a 14 karat gold throne in a 20 foot wide hut? How can you even call yourself a king whilst you live in such horrendous conditions! I can't believe you let this happen to yourself. This is a disgrace! This is ridiculous!"

"All that you just said is nothing but treason! Your execution has already been planned for 2 days from now. Guards!" Benboy called out. In response, twelve men rushed into the hut and seized Kat.

"Wait wait wait wait wait!" Kat held up his hands and dropped down onto his knees. "I have a very good reason for why you don't want to kill me."

"'For' may be omitted in that context, you imbecile!" one of the guards shouted. Kat completely ignored him.

"I have a very intricate plan that results in you getting castles, riches, revenge... Basically whatever you want."

"You idiot! How could you forget to add a conjunction to that sentence?" the same soldier screamed. "Your highness, if I may interject, I would like to say that man so undereducated in the rules of grammar is certainly undeserving of any amount of your attention!"

Kat once again ignored him. "You see, I hold a rather high position in the court of the royal king Drew. This, however, is not how I wish to live the rest of my life. I am still young, only in my early twenties and I am already sick and tired of having to hear about 'justice' and 'what the people want'! The small influence, if you can even call it that (for he never listens to anything I suggest), I have over the king is practically useless to me. To tell the truth, I would much rather live my life as a puny farmer than be so close to power yet be able to truly grasp none..."

"I'm listening..." Benboy replied.

"Now I'm no historian, so I don't exactly know how you ended up with a pure gold throne and yet nowhere to put the throne, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the kingdom from which I came, and I'm guessing it has something to do with 'justice' and 'what the people want'. My plan does not involve much interaction on your part, but I'll need your help if I'm to succeed."

"What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to provide me with resources. I need all the robbers, bandits, thugs, assassins and whatever else you think might be qualified for the job."

"That job being...?"

A slight smile crept across Kat's face. "That's where things become... Interesting."