User blog:MsD/What goes up, must come down.

Once upon a time, there lived a farmer and his dog. Every time the sun rose, the dog would jump for joy at the arrival of a new day. His furry paws gracefully floating through the air, they always sped down to the grassy land below him before long.

One rainy morning, the sun rose and barely peeked over the raging clouds. The dog did his usual jump, came down, and went along to greet the chickens.

The farmer swore at the sight of a violent rainstorm and raged downstairs to care for his cattle, when all of a sudden he noticed a flashing light on his computer screen. He bent over to read it, only to find nothing of signifigance to him. He quickly went along his day.

At day's end, all hard work complete, the farmer checked his computer only to find more erratic messages. He observed one: it was a picture of the farmer's face with text reading "CHICKEN NUGGET" above it.

"!@#%$!" exclaimed the farmer. "Them !@#%$ McDonalds idiots are raiding my farm again!"

He quickly went outside his farm to see something astonishing: an airstrip shaped like his dog. A really, really fat version of his dog, with wings.

He then noticed that there were cows aboard the ship; all with loaded AK-47s. They then shot a nearby farm, and it exploded. Hot dogs raimed from the sky; but then he saw something more amazing.

It was Ryan Gostling. He fell from the ship as he imagined Jesus would. He walked up to the farmer, and said in a deep voice, "Hey Farmer, what did the airship say to the farm?"

The farmer, stunned and dumbfounded, replied, "Your mother!"

"OH MY GOD, YOU RACIST!" Ryan exclaimed. He then ripped off his shirt only to realize Ryan was also composed solely of AK-47s. They all shot at once, in every direction imaginable.

The farmer woke up with several gunshot wounds to the earlobe. He wrapped it in a wet chainsaw, and cried himself to sleep.

The dog did his usual jump for joy in the morning, and his day went on as usual.