User blog:Riolu777/Fun Times With Dr. Phil and Keplers the Coconut

This happened late at night. :P Of course. :P I had to copy/paste this on an iPod, so shush. :P

1:24Riolu777It's easier to crack a nut than a coconut, as Keps proudly knows. Excuse me, HACK.

1:24Keplers Im allergic to coconut, so, no.

1:24Riolu777...I implied that you're a coconut... NVM.

1:24Keplers  1:24Riolu777Some people can't grasp my snipes.

1:25KeplersI know you implied I'm a coconut.Im allergic to them, so I can't be. 1:25Riolu777But being one would mean that you wouldn't be allergic to one to begin with.

1:26Keplers But being allergic to one, I must not be one.

1:26Riolu777Scientifically.

1:27KeplersOtherwise my own defenses would destroy myself.

1:27Riolu777But not logically.

1:27KeplersThat is allergy.

1:27Riolu777You wouldn't be born allergic to something you were born as.

1:27KeplersThe body reacting negatively to a substance. EXACTLY.I WAS BORN ALLERGIC TO COCONUT.

1:27Riolu777HENCE YOU NOT BEING ALLERGIC TO COCONUTS IF YOU WERE A COCONUT.

1:28KeplersBUT SINCE I AM?

1:28Riolu777YOU COCONUT.

1:28Keplers Your argument is invalid.If I'm a coconut, I must not be allergic.But I am allergic.

1:28Riolu777No, literally, you're a coconut. You can't be allergic to yourself.Metaphysically, your psychological quasi self is trying to trick your physiological psuedo self into believing your allergy to something.

1:29Keplers*Sigh.*

1:30Riolu777So you have to psychiatrically induce hypnosis.And then you're not allergic to coconut.

1:30KeplersYou seriously think I believe that.

1:30Riolu777IM DR. PHIL. OF COURSE I DO.

1:30KeplersXD

1:30Riolu777NOW SIT IN THAT CHAIR AND LET OPRAH HYPNOTIZE YOU.

1:31KeplersXDXD

1:31Riolu777AND THEN DR OZ IS GOING TO ADMINSTER FUNKY JUICES TO YOUR SOUL AND STOMACH.

1:32KeplersXDXDXDXDXDXD

1:32Riolu777*calms down* Audience, look under your chairs for SOME ONE DIRECTION CITIES SQUEAL ERMAGERSH*CDS

1:33Keplers XD

1:34Riolu777Now, Mr. Coconut, tell me, when did you first feel like a coconut?

1:34KeplersNEVER, WACKO.

1:35Riolu777SIT DOWN BEFORE I HAVE OPRAH SIT ON YOU.

1:35KeplersXD*Quickly sits.**Reality must have skipped several seconds, because that was FAST.*

1:35Riolu777Now, please, tell me, do you ever wish you weren't a coconut?

1:36KeplersI never was, loser!

1:36Riolu777SEDATE HIM, MEHMET.

1:36Keplers

1:36Riolu777I'm trying to reach out to you here.

1:36KeplersIm restraining laughter so hard my stomach hurts.

1:36Riolu777Just please tell me, do you want to be a grape instead?

1:38KeplersA what?

1:38Riolu777A grape, son.

1:38KeplersDon't they get turned into wine?I WANNA LIVE SIR!I THROW MYSELF AT THE MERCH OF JUDGE JUDY'S COURT! *mercy

1:39Riolu777Grapes like you get turned into whine. *director plays laugh track*

1:39Keplers

1:39Riolu777But wait a second, you're a coconut!

1:39KeplersRiiiight.

1:40Riolu777So you'll be in Corona commercials!Problem solved!

1:40KeplersDo I get Corona afterwards?

1:40Riolu777*audience applauds*No. Sicko.

1:40Keplers*Slaps him.*

1:41Riolu777*whacks you with a chair* COOKIE.

1:41KeplersOW!

Marcel77799 went in search of peace and quiet.

1:42Riolu777Pain is weakness leaving the body, son. *director plays clapping track*

1:42KeplersREALLY?!*Beats you to a pulp.*

1:42Riolu777We'll prove that right up next on DR PHIL. *music*