View source for Alemas

{{User
|Year=2005
|Signature=Crabrave.mp4
|Badge1=Forum Founder
|Badge2=Legend
|PostCount=42089
|Userpage=Alemas2005
|Rank=6
|Avatar=[[File:IMG 1830.jpg]]
|Source=//community.lego.com/t5/user/viewprofilepage/user-id/1339006
|Active=Yes
}}
'''Alemas''' is a [[wikipedia:European Union|Euro]] who joined the LEGO Message Boards on November 25, [[Timeline#2005|2005]], to try and best the destruction of the [[wikipedia:2000 Baku earthquake|Baku earthquake]] which happened five years prior. He currently has the biological form of a [[Minotaur]], 43,700 [[posts|shitposts]], and 2,226 pity [[likes]] received. He also has the 15th highest amount of posts for a single account, and the 3412th highest amount of posts that anyone actually read. He retired on June 4, [[Timeline#2012|2012]], before returning the very next day, shocking only the dumbest users on the website. 

Alemas was certified by the [[wikipedia:National Health Service|National Health Service]] as a [[Maniac]] on February 18, [[Timeline#2011|2011]], upon diagnosis of over 40 psychological disorders, then reached [[Legend]] on August 22, 2011 for not giving a fuck. Alemas was one of the stupidest fully active LEGO Message Boards users. Alemas got blamed for [[SPAM|spamming]] a lot, because people watched him do it in real-time. It is widely theorized that Alemas got away with it because he was having sex with the [[moderators]]. Before he retired for thirteen hours, however, he campaigned against spam, which most users brushed off as a typical display of Alemas's erratic behavior and hypocrisy. 

He was one of the most well-known and infamous LMB users on the [[wikipedia:No Fly List|No Fly List]]. One of Alemas' pride and joys was the [[LEGO News Station Advanced (LNSA)|LEGO News Station Advanced 3]], a propaganda outlet of [[wikipedia:Hezbollah|Lebanese Hezbollah]], where he was leader. Although he had never [[Roleplays|had sex]] in a public forum outside of the [[Community Chat Forum]] before (apart from accepting the occasional handy in various other [[forums]]) he started roleplaying in the [[Alien Conquest Forum|BBW Conquest Forum]], in the [[topics]] "BBW Bootcamp" and "A.D.U." a few months before retiring.

==Early History and Awards==
[[File:IMG 6806.jpg|thumb|Alemas attempting to seduce users in the BBW Conquest Forum]]
Alemas originally had an account before 2005 in order to play Drone Strike Fallujah Challenge, an online war simulator which was very popular at the time. He then lost the account by droning a school bus full of civilians and joined back as Alemas.

He started shitposting sometime in [[Timeline#2006|2006]]. He initially posted in "single-reply" topics i.e. topics which revolved around soliciting others for sexual favors. He stopped posting in late 2006/early [[Timeline#2007|2007]] while attending university, and then returned in mid-[[Timeline#2008|2008]] after the [[wikipedia:Great Recession|global financial crisis]] dashed all hopes of getting a real job. He started posting more quickly in 2009, when he joined the MLN News Station and started spreading right-wing political propaganda.

In late 2009, he joined the LEGO News Station Advanced, a practically dead news station at the time. Despite that, he still hit on the three interns they had left, causing an exodus of employees that forced the station to shutter permanently.

In July of the same year, Alemas won Most Biased News Reporter in the Brickys, the LEGO Message Boards equivalent of the Oscars, hosted at the MB News Central. Alemas won the award handily with 4,392 votes and 3,393,490 tips to the FBI's anonymous tip line.

In March 2011 he won Most Biased News Reporter again at the Brickys, won Most Likely To Be Voted Off An Airplane and came 3rd in the All-Time Worst MB Users Top 10, leading him to give up on reporting and pursue his side hustle as a gigolo.

{{Gallery
|img1=AlemasJuniorBuilder.jpg
|txt1=Alemas as a virulent spammer
|img2=AlemasCraftsman.jpg
|txt2=Alemas as an even more virulent spammer
|img3=Alemas Inventor.png
|txt3=Alemas three ranks past where he should've been banned
}}

==Retirement==
[[File:AlemasRetirement.jpg|thumb|Alemas' retirement speech]]
On June 4, 2012, Alemas announced his immediate retirement from the Message Boards, due to the moderators' policy of combatting spam, which he saw as an existential threat to his content on the LEGO Message Boards. For the occasion, he used "==A=l=a=m=e=a=s=s==>" as his signature, a blend of his older signature "==A=l=e=m=a=s==>" and "A Lame Ass," the nickname most LMB users were using for him at the time.

==Return==
[[File:Return.jpg|thumb|left|Alemas' return]]
On July 5, 2012, user Alemas returned to the LEGO Message Boards after thirteen long hours away. A seductive post by miakittymoon (who he always praises as the mod with the "hottest" username amongst all the other "hot" ones) in the topic was more than enough to have him come running back.

==April Fools Jokes==
Alemas has become well known for doing two large April Fools Jokes.

In March 2011, a whole month before April 1, he announced he would retire that day. However, it wasn't a really good April Fools Joke, as everyone actually wanted him to do this, and most knew he would be bullshitting anyway. It was still considered a good joke at the time because he hadn't recycled it 30 times yet.

In 2012, things with miakittymoon became serious. A couple of weeks before April 1, he penned a sad-smiley-laden apology to miakittymoon in the BBW Conquest Forum detailing that he had cheated on her with [[WhiteAlligator]] in the Christian Dating Swamp Forum. He kept insisting it was real, and miakittymoon actually believed him and threatened cutting at the prospect of Alemas's infidelity and betrayal. On April 1, he made his retirement speech, complete with a list of other moderators he cheated on MKM with. He did admit of having second thoughts running through [[Wildbunchz]] and [[Stevensbike]], but he did it anyway. However, he did say that he won't be doing it anymore. He also had second thoughts about making the joke because he thought that betraying the moderators might give them cause to actually start doing their jobs and policing his content. The Joke did strain his sexual relationships, but it generally was a success.

In 2013, he didn't follow up his previous April Fools Joke; instead, he chose to post his third "retirement" in a hostile tone, making it one of the "lamest and most predictable April Fools Day Jokes ever".

In [[Timeline#2014|2014]], he posted a simple April Fools Joke, claiming that he we was seriously retiring on that day, despite everyone in the world knowing he was full of shit. Most people sternly told him to "fuck off".

In [[Timeline#2015|2015]], his April Fools Joke was more realistic than the previous one, and actually showed what Alemas thought was a plausible motive for retiring: he claimed to have gotten a real job. However, everyone knew Alemas was unemployable and there was a 100% chance he was bullshitting again. 

In [[Timeline#2016|2016]], his April Fools Joke was that he was going to post a bunch of unreadable content all over the LMBs. People actually believed him this time because Alemas is insufferable.

{{Gallery
|img1=AprilFools2.jpg
|txt1=Alemas' first lame April Fools Joke
|img2=AprilFoolsRefined.jpg
|txt2=Alemas' second lame April Fools Joke
|img3=MeanestAprilFoolsEver.png
|txt3=Alemas' third lame April Fools Joke
|img4=LameAprilFools.png
|txt4=Alemas' fourth lame April Fools Joke
|img5=SlightlyRealisticAprilFools.png
|txt5=Alemas' fifth lame April Fools Joke
|img6=PoeticAprilFools.png
|txt6=Alemas' sixth lame April Fools Joke
}}

==Private Messages==
Most of his posts include a [[Stick Out Tongue|Tongue Smiley]] emote. Alemas is the user who went the longest without PMing any girls. He posted from sometime in December [[Timeline#2009|2010]] to January 2011 without PMing a single girl (he used [[wikipedia:Cocaine|blow]] to cope). Just before retiring, he seemed to be getting really pissed off, probably due to the fact that he couldn't pass Marcel, and that the Message Boards Forum was (and still is) being overrun by [[Keplers]] (against whom he was also campaigning), and because he was constantly arguing with the moderators. Some people refer to Alemas as A Lame Ass.

==Trivia==
*Alemas was blamed for the closure of [[Message Boards Achievements|MB Achievements 2.0]] because it was nearly impossible to blame him for something bad happening on the Boards and not be at least partially telling the truth. 
*Alemas calls [[matt02]] a "ghost", since he is caucasian. This annoys matt02 very much.
*In the past, users used to call him a number of names, such as A_Lame_Mess, A, Lame, Mess, Hawaiian Leg End (also known as a Penis) and many others. However, he did say multiple times that he just wanted to be called Alemas, so most people stopped just calling him Alemas.
*There was once a joke around the holiday season about a holiday named Ale-mas, where all the moderators got schlong delivered by Saint Alemas.
*Some of his famous quotes are "Yowzers!", "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBIEEEEEES!!! {{TS2}}", "Yeppers! {{TS2}}", and "*Facesit* {{TS2}}", which he uses extensively during erotic roleplay. He once started using the Angry Face Emote ( [[File:Mad.gif]] ) along with "BOT!", as a display of sexual frustration during a particularly bad drought.
*Aokpisz once repeatedly claimed to be his brother, as part of an attempt to set Alemas up for an intervention to save him from himself. Alemas saw through this every time and continued posting spam.
*He was usually pretty hostile towards newbies, because he saw them as dating competition. He did adopt [[Barbay1]] and [[Rosso22]], two Columbian refugees; the former because she spelled well and didn't "fuck with him," the latter because his spelling was so bad he adopted him for his own good. Barbay is now a well-known [[Old Timer]], while Rosso (who's half-Italian-half-American) is an [[Artisan]]. Since Alemas adopted him, Rosso's spelling has nosedived dramatically.
*Alemas was known as one of the most sexual users of the whole LEGO Message Boards. This leads to some of his posts being rejected. He always says "I speak my dick" when his rogue heterosexuality provokes reaction. [[Guacamole1998]] once said that Alemas is "probably the worst user of the LEGO Message Boards."
*He wrote one [[MLN Music and Bands|My LEGO Network]] song, "Wackamole1998," a diss track aimed at Guacamole1998. 

{{Rating|Great}}
[[Category:MLN Band User]]